California's General Trout season opener leaps out of the cake tomorrow (Saturday, April 26), and while I'm stuck in a training gig, Older (and less attractive) Bro and I will find ourselves on a bona-fide small stream on Day Two of the California's "Like Totally Awesome" 2014 season.

It couldn't happen to a pair of nicer guys.

Which trout will feel the sting of our presence? In truth, we're not sure. We've got a stream in mind.

This year, our decision won't be affected by the snowpack, which usually renders a lot of alpine streams inaccessible. To see why it's not a problem this year, check out California's abysmal -- and already disappearing -- snowpack:

How do you like them apples? Not very much... 

See that dismal "6%" in the upper third of the state?

That's my snowpack (percentage of normal for April 1). Which means all the water you normally can't fish until June is now fair game.

But don't get any ideas. Don't show up at my stream. My brother and I have suffered through a long couple of weeks. And we're staring a drought -- and potentially short small stream fishing season -- right in the face.

So if we see you on our water, we'll likely gut you.

You know, like a trout. That you're going to cook. And eat.

Get the picture?

Other Stuff, Like Adventure

If you haven't laid your hands on the latest issue of California Fly Fisher, you're missing the interesting interview with Lisa Cutter -- one of the state's leading female fly fishers and co-owner (with Ralph Cutter, who needs little introduction to most of you) of the California Fly Fishing school.

Essentially, if you think you lead a bum's life in pursuit of adventure, you might want to see how it's really done.

Other Stuff, Like The Tenkara Wars

Tenkara acquired a beachhead in the Western fly fishing universe at a time when the traditional fly shop/manufacturer relationship is feeling a little... strained. (Actually, it's feeling a lot strained. I was just being nice.)

So when a fly shop goes full rant about a direct-to-the-consumers move by a manufacturer, it's not really surprising Tenkara gear is at the heart of it:

Patagonia’s new catalog article and product description about their tenkara rods/book is now another pill difficult to swallow. In one short breath, “Modern-day fly fishing, like much in life, has become exceedingly complex, with high-tech gear, a confusing array of flies and terminal tackle, accompanied by high-priced fishing guides”, Chouniard dismisses much of the fly fishing industry. Why cut off the legs of western fly fishing with Patagonia’s entry into “rod manufacturing/retailing”?

Why did Patagonia and Craig Mathews determine to brand its new tenkara retail endeavor with Temple Fork Outfitters, a relatively new and marginally respected player in the tenkara arena? Marketing? Margins? In fact, wasn’t it Lefty himself (the face of Temple Fork Outfitters) that once told Tenkara USA owner Daniel Galhardo that “tenkara is just a fad and won’t last”?

Alas, why did Patagonia launch its tenkara products without allowing any Patagonia dealer to have access to the product? Why would you choose not to include the retailers that have promoted your fly fishing apparel for years? As far as we are aware, Patagonia has never launched a new product line and not let their dealers in on it. Why now?

Yikes. So much for "simple."

Tenkara looks like an interesting way to fish. But there have been more than a few statements made suggesting Tenkara represents an elevated form of fly fishing.

And this in a sport where ideas about split shot often degenerate into close quarters combat.

For the record, simple is nice, but those with the temerity to fly fish with a reel are probably not going to hell. (Hell, it's widely known, is reserved for those using split shot.)

If you feel the need to engage in a religious conflict, I can suggest plenty of better options in other parts of the world.

See you on the river (gutting the guy who showed up just before you), Tom Chandler.