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Friday News Follies at the Underground

By Tom Chandler 6/9/2006

While I remain trapped in my chair by the weight of multiple deadlines, there's been a veritable flood of Underground-worthy news sent by Alert Readers. It's a weird, weird world out there, and at the Underground, we're dedicated to making that as clear as possible to you.

When I die, I want to go to heaven in... a Fish Coffin

Apparently, shaped coffins are the rage in Ghana. Wanna be buried in a fish? Coca-Cola bottle? Bible? Thanks to the Underground - and Alert Reader Gerry - you know where to go...

Fishing coffin in Ghana
Why not? This looks a lot better to me than a square box... (yahoo news photo)


Massively Parallel Bass Fishing

Though I'm a bamboo fiberglass fishing retro-grouch, I'm always on the lookout for technology that improves our lot in life. That's why Sun Microsystem's new game server array has made the news (and why Alert Reader Gerry sent it along); with any luck, you'll soon be able to fish competitively online against other freakish tech geeks. Sure, Sun's only talking Bass fishing at the moment, but expect the "A Massively Parallel River Runs Through It" version any day...

Yet More Shocking Slaw Dog News

Ian Rutter sent us this abominable "slaw dog" recipe, where our trusty tube steak treat is horribly mis-treated by modern cuisine. They substitute seared tuna for our beloved hunk of mystery meat, and then compound the crime with vegetables tossed in a "simple Oriental vinaigrette, which, when time is short, can be replaced with bottled citrus ginger dressing."

Viking slaw dog image Oh the humanity! (There is a letter to Viking in the Underground's future). Ian somewhat snidely suggests this might be the perfect "California version" of the dog, but a little research reveals the ugly, ugly truth; Viking (the Web site hosting this affront to slaw dog lovers everywhere) is located in... Mississippi. Questions about why so many southern states overindulge in doubled letters aside, I think this illustrates a key talking point in the Underground's upcoming political campaign: the assault against our gas station food heritage from every corner of the country.

More Carp News...

Finally, from another continent, Correspondent Mitch White reports there is no carp fishing in any bar in Tapei - at least none that he could find. Mitch is a statistician, and says he based this conclusion on "large-number" analysis, so we're pretty sure he's got it right. More research, he suggests, is on its way, especially at a place aptly named "Slee Zee Chen's." More coming from our courageous Chinese correspondent (assuming he finds his way back to the hotel).

The Upper Sac continues to slowly fall, with flows now entering the 2400 cfs range. That's not what I'd call "happily fishable" but it is approaching the levels where you can actually accomplish something out there (though rarely gracefully). It's a weekend for work, but there's always a chance for a quick fishing expedition. As always, we'll let you know. See you over the weekend, Tom Chandler.
AuthorPicture

Tom Chandler

As the author of the decade leading fly fishing blog Trout Underground, Tom believes that fishing is not about measuring the experience but instead of about having fun. As a staunch environmentalist, he brings to the Yobi Community thought leadership on environmental and access issues facing us today.

11 comments
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Tom, I think Gek was referring to Tennessee, which is also in the south. I know this because I was born a Yankee - of course I never realized my Yankee status until I traveled in the south - and yes Tennesseeans refer to Ohioans as "Yankees". See, I was raised to believe the Civil War ended in 1865, but in the south...
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Oh and Gek, MMiissiissiippii is most definitely in the south. Hot babes or not. Definitely.
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River's down to 2000 cfs, so 1000 by end of the month is possible. Of course, 1000 isn't like fishing at those happy 500 cfs flows, but it's clearly a start. I may get out this evening - my success up at Canterra early last week came after I hung a Hare's Ear under my dry - but the river is 1000 cfs lower, and of course, I've got even better looking. As for the "Millenium Slaw Dog" the question is ... more not one of tastiness as it is culinary purity. There can be only one Slaw Dog, and believe me, it doesn't involve vinaigrette. Imagine the pining faces of the children who are told their clueluess parents are making them slaw dogs. Now imagine their hopeful eyes turning clouded and angry when they're handed this Yuppie facsimilie of a Slaw Dog. That's a year of therapy right there. BTW - the "Fish Coffin" thing seems to have hit a nerve on several fly fishing blogs on the Internet. Guess we all wanna go in style, and why not go in fish style? (Helpful hint: if you decide to start your own blog, don't use Blogger...).
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Well I'd eat it. - Dave
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This recipe calls for the tuna to be "cut into slender rectangles to resemble the shape of a hot dog." Ummm, not sure what planet that statement is from. What's the saying? You can't put a circle in a square hole? Or any parallelogram for that matter. Not sure about this whole Mississippi connection. Though Tennessee does share the "doubled letter" phenomenon with our brethren across the Mighty, I ... more have a hard time including them in the South. I'm no historian and don't have a map of the Mason Dixon line, so maybe someone can enlighten me on that aspect. All I know is that some of the most beautiful women in the world are gathered in the state of Miss...Home of the Millennium Slaw Dog. That has to count for something.
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I fished the Cantara area Thursday night. My wife opted to knit. Unfortunately, she caught almost as many fish as I did without picking up a flyrod...hmmm... I spent a good part of the evening teaching a class of very young trout how to reject artificial flies. Most of them received A's. And the larger fish were playing hooky. A few pink mayflies were out, but it was a quiet night, a good one for ... more just sitting, drinking a brew or two, and enjoying the country...which is also what I did... There was a distinct lack of stone flies, but I'm hoping to see some when I come up later in the month. Until then, I'm going to try tying a golden stone that looks injured, a big easy meal for those of us in the animal kingdom who enjoy that sort of thing. Suggestions are welcome. Happy fishing, Will
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Realistically it could get down to 1000 cfs or less by the end of the month and that's what I'm hoping for :-). A buddy of mine from Salem OR area is coming down next weekend for a few days of fishing. We've already decided to concentrate our efforts on the Pit which is fishable now. We may give the McCloud a go too. Yes I will be using a bamboo rod on the Pit! It's my own version of an "Upper Sac ... more Special"...... aka a beater type of cane rod....... Brian
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Ahh, Brian. Optimistic, ready-to-fish Brian... It's a great plan, but typically the river flows decline pretty slowly. We're a ways from 1000 cfs, and there is stil a ton of snow up there. Next weekend? No way. Good news is we've got a good start on 2000 cfs, and once it falls below that, more water becomes fishable. Keep sharpening those hooks...
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Looks like the Upper Sac is now dropping a couple hundred cfs a day. Hopefully this is a trend and means the beginning of the end of the snowmelt runoff. If this continues, then the river could be down to about 1000 cfs by next weekend. That would be awesome! Brian
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Thanks! I mix a lot of locally generated words and pictures in with the interesting links. Then we throw in a dash of weirdness, "correspondents" in other parts of the country, and mix in the thought that fly fishing should be fun. And a few slaw dogs. Come back and post again.
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Just found your blog via Ass Hooked Whitey. Looks like you have a really splendid blog along the lines of Fishing Jones and Moldy Chum. I hope I remember to stop by often.
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