What’s for lunch?

The Underground – clearly the Internet leader in really bad-for-you fly fishing food news – knows that not all the Undergrounders have ready access to toxic gas station food the highly revered slaw dog.

But because Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food joints are basically everywhere, we’re offering a glimpse into a new fast food delight that promises to singlehandedly spike the stock of any organization offering cardiac care.

Ladies, gentlemen and Undergrounders, we give you the KFC “Double Down” sandwich:

Ultimate Fly Fishing Food? (Or Death On A Plastic Plate?)

Yes, it appears to be two fried chicken filets wrapped around cheese and bacon. And yes, as the Lunchblog points out, it’s not really a sandwich.

It’s a meat pile.

And finally, it probably should come in carton labeled not “The Double Down” but instead: “The 666 Sandwich.”

And frankly, it’s the Perfect Fly Fishing Food.

Not only would this bad boy provide all the calories needed for even a hard day’s fishing, but in the event of bear attack, you could use it to stop the heart of your attacker, felling the mighty beast in mere seconds.

See you in the cardiac ward, Tom Chandler.

There can no longer be any doubt that the Slaw Dog is good for you.

Check out all that Vitamin C! (And know that a “C-” grade is just barely below average.)

Given the rich, tasty goodness of the slaw dog, we wonder why anyone bothers to pop Vitamin C pills or drink orange juice.

See you at Sonic, Tom Chandler.

Fortunately, we embrace both here at the Underground. So Ladies and Gentlemen (and Undergrounders), we give you the West Virginia Slaw Dog mapping project:

The West Virginia Slaw Dog Map represents the zenith of civilization

From the Web site:

While the vast majority of West Virginians prefer hot dogs topped with coleslaw, it is not a standard topping at hot dog joints everywhere in West Virginia. The food culture of our state is diverse and influenced by many factors such as predominate ethnicities and a melding with cultures of surrounding states.This mapping project attempts to document this diversity.

All of the counties shaded in light green have been verified to have HDJs that include slaw as a topping on a hot dog with “everything”. Light beige indicate counties where HDJs usually offer slaw, but usually by request only. In dark beige counties you can usually get slaw, but some HDJs may not offer it. Orange indicates counties where slaw is almost never available in mainstream HDJs. Finally, in those counties shaded red, slaw is unheard of.

Those with knowledge of West Virginia’s (apparently extensive) slaw dog culture are even invited to contribute to the map – yet another stirring example of how the Internet furthers mankind’s knowledge of the universe.

See you at the hot dog stand, Tom Chandler.

And no, the disease isn’t connected to the slaw dogs consumed Saturday night at the Trout Underground/Man Cave World Headquarters by a handful of locals. They are above suspicion.

Sadly, even the innocent suffered the effects of the bug; Wally the Wonderdog was denied a tongue-hanging-out-happy hike to a brookie lake – a highlight in his tortured, lay-around-on-the-porch life.

Wonderdog ennui: Wally deals with the disappointment.

Still, even as a sicko, the Underground continues to forge ahead on the work front, and relatively soon (a week, hopefully), the Underground will (hopefully) be fishing more and explaining less.

The State of the Upper Sacramento

It’s the time of year when the Upper Sacramento slips into what folks call the Dog Days, becoming a largely morning-and-evening game until the weather cools.

Guide Wayne Eng scoured the river on Saturday and caught fish, though he admitted working pretty hard for them. Good bets are fishing the lower river with a Zebra midge (or other blackfly larva imitation), or tapping into the very localized evening hatches (often of #18 PEDs).

This is the time of year when broad, sweeping pronouncements about the river invariably make you look dumb; you could stare at an empty river all evening, hike back to the car, and find out the guys who hiked a quarter mile upriver caught a dozen trout working a decent hatch.

Then there are the rumoured Tricos, whose existence I’m going to deny because every attempt I’ve made to fish the hatch has ended in ignominy.

Thus do I refute reality, and substitute my own.

Two Things Remain True

I will point out a couple of truths; the Upper Sacramento is actually a tailwater that fishes like a freestoner, and while the hatches can be slow, the water’s certainly cold enough to support them. The trick is finding them.

Second, there is still plenty of good fishing around here, especially in those out-of-the-way places you’ve never been to but can find with a little map work (or the help of a long out-of-print guidebook).

See you in the outdoors, Tom Chandler.

fly fishing, fishing, upper sac, upper sacramento river, wally the wonderdog, slaw dog

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