Consolidation isn’t exactly unknown in the business world these days, but I admit this announcement caught me a little by surprise:
Manchester, VT (May 1, 2013) – The Orvis Company, Inc. of Manchester, Vermont today announced it has entered into a definitive agreement to acquire the Scientific Anglers and Ross Reels businesses from 3M (NYSE:MMM). Upon completion of the transaction, Orvis plans to continue to operate the Midland, MI based business independently under the Scientific Anglers brand. Ross Reels will also continue to operate independently under its brand name from its Montrose, CO headquarters. The transaction is expected to be completed in the second quarter. Terms of the transaction were not disclosed.
Ok. My first journalistic response was that Orvis worked with SciAnglers on fly lines (SA produces the Orvis “base” lines, which are then hot-rodded in the Orvis rod shop), so… why not?
But this passage caught me a little unawares:
“There is no plan for Orvis to carry Scientific Anglers-brand fly lines in its catalog, stores or website, nor are there plans to more widely distribute Orvis products through S.A.’s established wholesale accounts. Each brand must remain focused on being the leading innovator in their respective product categories and distribution channels,” Lepage said. “Maintaining that clarity will be the key to our success.”
Orvis is something of a direct marketing machine; I assumed we’d see all three organizational marketing bits intertwining with Orvis applying some of its direct muscle. But on a phone call, Tom Rosenbauer said SA and Ross “are wholesale business and we want to keep them wholesale businesses.”
OK. It’s all adding up to be a standard, everyday buyout.
Until I applied the sophisticated journalistic techniques developed by American’s stellar crop of birthers and conspiracy theorists. To whit:
“We think both businesses have incredible opportunities to drive fly-fishing innovation well into the future,” said David Perkins, Orvis Executive Vice Chairman. “Jim Lepage will move to Midland and from there he will be dedicated to running both S.A. and Ross. He and the excellent teams already in place will build these strong brands for the future. Neither consumers nor the trade will likely notice much of a difference in the branding of these businesses under Orvis ownership. What they will notice is renewed marketing energy, well-supported sales and service staff and an even higher level of new product innovation.”
Aha! And I had my story.
All the facts clearly point to the following: Jim LePage is the love child of Marilyn Monroe and one of the Perkins clan, and this purchase is basically a gift to him in return for his silence on the whole embarrassing episode.
When I confronted Rosenbauer with the truth, he backpedaled desperately: “We’ll see an increased emphasis on quality control and R&D.”
You can almost read the fear in his voice.
“And we’re bringing Bruce Richardson back to SA. It’s really cool to have Bruce Richardson back on board, and with Jim LePage working as a hands-on manager, we should see some cool new innovations coming from SA and Ross.”
That, my fellow Undergrounders, is confirmation.
Need more proof? I can already predict that not a single one of the other Illuminati-controlled fly fishing blogs or media is going to publish the real truth.
Thus, the absence of the truth confirms the truth — which you’ll receive only at the Underground.
See you scanning for black helicopters, Tom Chandler.