I thought that – after last year’s breakthrough episode featuring me not soiling myself on camera – TU would simply bow to the inevitable, ditch Smethurst, and offer me the starring role my mother says I so clearly deserve.

That it hasn’t happened suggests a serious drug problem at Trout Unlimited, but because I’m not one to let movie stardom go to my head, I’m graciously still going to post the 2010 Season Preview here on the Trout Underground before I call my agent and make sure none of those bastards works in this town again.

Sorta new dad Frank Smethurst returns as host (I mean, he’s left-handed for chrissakes), and apparently they spend not one, but two episodes in Bristol Bay, which ought to make Anglo American/Northern Dynasty (mining companies) pucker just a bit.

Interestingly, On The Rise has moved to The Sportsman Channel, and you’d have to blind, deaf and dumb to not realize why (Versus Outdoor Channel clearly wouldn’t agree to broadcast the show without my presence).

Brave, brave Versus Outdoor Channel.

See you in front of the tube, Tom Chandler.

I think if you are going to show fishing,you should leave you’re environmental crap to yourself. I have young children that don’t need to be raised on your paranoid beliefs.Stay in California and quit spreading your brainwashing. I’m sorry that you can’t see that you have been raised in a confusing culture that wants to blame the people instead of the governmental and world wide destroyers. Get you’re crap together. Wake up and stop selling what you think THEY want to hear.

Speaking for paranoid, confused, brainwashed types worldwide, I’d like to say “thanks” for waking me up to what I so clearly missed – the work of that insidious band of “governmental and world wide destroyers” (Wait a minute – isn’t that Nestle? Err, well, uhhh… Has the new administration appointed a “World Wide Destroyer” Czar? I think he has.)

Besides making me want to invest heavily in aluminum foil-lined hat futures (and perhaps a bodyguard), the Underground is happy to recognize anyone capable of providing this level of comic relief. We salute you.

And Now, a Little Fly Fishing. Well, Not Really.

I look out the window at my just barely passable driveway and reflect on the concept that over the last week, better than four feet of snow fell on it – and that I invested the equivalent of four afternoon fishing trips keeping it barely passable.

It’s not the kind of thinking that generates a warm fuzzy feeling (in fact, it causes me to question my personal values surrounding snow removal, as confused and brainwashed as they clearly are), and because the weather’s warming and you can see the snow softening, you know that river flows are probably heading up the next two days – about the time you’ll actually be clear of deadlines and able to fly fish.

Still, right now the Upper Sac seems to be bouncing around 1100/1200 cfs, which is plenty fishable – especially at the higher reaches of the river (remember, the gauging station is just above Shasta Lake). Of course, the best BWO hatches are typically found in middle sections of the river, creating something of a connundrum for greedy fly fishermen (aren’t we all).

The Hostile, Confused, Brainwashed Underground

Taken as a whole, all of the above means one thing: I’m in what you might deem a pretty hostile mood (just try me Barton, try me).

Naturally enough, this makes me want to stick another pin in Nestle Waters of North America (perhaps I’m just hoping to attract another entertaining email), so I’m posting a YouTube trailer for an upcoming documentary called “Tapped.” It’s 341 seconds the water bottling arm of Underground Axis of Evil Member Nestle would rather you didn’t see, but even those not connected to the Nestle issue will find the trailer soundtrack worth their time.

Click here to view the embedded video.

See you milling around with all the other world wide destroyers, Tom Chandler.

Regular Undergrounders know of my distaste for Nestle Waters, their predatory approach to small towns, and their apparent lack of concern for the McCloud River.

And yes, it’s clear to me the McCloud River is a favorite among my readers (soneone said if the McCloud’s not a favorite, it’s because you haven’t fished it yet).

Curtis Knight of CalTrout filled the early part of the show deftly outlining the threats to the river, and yes, I made an appearance in the last segment, where I successfully didn’t soil myself.

In fact viewers were treated to an inside view of the the Underground’s Brown Trout Mobile (the slowly deteriorating brown Bronco), and you probably also got a good glimpse of the river, which – as host (and new daddy) Frank Smethurst put it – was still somewhat TU (totally unfishable).

Thoughts

The show did an excellent job covering the threat to the river, and maybe now you know why CalTrout’s Curtis Knight is an Underground favorite.

The show would be a ton more fun if they’d broadcast some of the interaction between the crew and Smethhurst. It’s pure guys-on-a-fishing-trip entertainment, even if it doesn’t fit into the show’s format.

From a purely personal perspective, it’s a glimpse back into time – a look at a couple months and a couple pounds ago, on a river that you can’t legally fish right now.

I hope this places a little more pressure on Nestle to start playing fair with rural towns, and while it’s a small victory, it’s a shame that every town facing Nestle can’t get its own TV show (interesting fun fact: Nestle is the most-boycotted corporation in the world).

Now that my brief broadcast career is over, see you back on the river, Tom Chandler.

On The Rise host Frank Smethurst risking it all on the McCloud

On the day in question, I nailed exactly one 10″ trout, a pitiful performance, so I assumed my presence in the final cut would be minimal – and then this chilling notice arrived:

“I am the editor at Barrett for this show and I am here to inform Tom, and hopefully bring the chilling fear of stagefright back, that Trout Underground is going to fill the fourth segment of On the Rise. Hopefully I and the writer give a clear and exciting look into your waters.

One thing for sure is, high or low, you have some of the most beautiful water I have ever cut into a show. Almost makes me want to visit my father who lives not far from Underground’s homewaters. Keep your eyes open and DVR’s set, this one is set for air on Feb. 13th, ‘09. Moved us up a quarter. Enjoy!”

Damn. I mean, great.

I’ll be right up front with the Undergrounders; I know from grim personal experience exactly how I look and sound on video tape, and frankly, there’s a damn good reason the Trout Underground’s all about the written word and not the recorded variety.

I remain shocked and stunned that Trout Unlimited (the other, less-famous TU) and Barrett Productions would risk the viability of their show in this manner, and it’s now clear that America’s drug problem is far more pervasive than we thought.

Kids, Hook Up the DVR

Those with short memories will want to revisit my original post about the fishing trip, which drew heavily upon Greek dramatic techniques to make the following point: I was in trouble.

Complicating matters was the presence of a two videographers and a sound man; people whose express purpose in life was to tape every embarrassing move, bad cast, odd utterance and trout I farmed.

Well, OK. Maybe that wasn’t what they said they were doing, but it’s clearly what they were trying to accomplish. They also foolishly believed I’d be able to talk intelligently about Nestle issues while I fished, when instead I mostly was focused on not soiling myself on camera.

Expectations, it seems, are rarely our friends.

Clearly – with Smethurst capable of busting out a couple good trout even under awful conditions – they were looking to the Underground for something else, like… comic relief.

Alert the Media

February 13 is the broadcast date (apparently the season’s being broadcast now instead of the summer – a clear indication of how much esteem The Outdoor Channel has for me).

Fire up the DVR, burn a little popcorn, pop the top on that cheap swill you call beer, and be prepared to weep as did Marc Antony when he first beheld Cleopatra. (More to come on this one.)

See you on TV, Tom Chandler.

To get that footage, you might find yourself climbing up on a rock in the middle of a flood-stage river, casting into a tiny gap in the trees, then throwing a weighted streamer back over your shoulder.

At least, you would if you’re uber-fly fisherbum Frank Smethurst:

Crazy Uber-fly fisherbum Frank Smethurst doing what it takes on the McCloud (kids, don’t try this at home)

At times I’m reminded why I’m much happier writing about fly fishing than shooting video of it. Writing leaves you in complete control of the story (history, after all, is defined by those who write it), and writers are famously good at forgetting the embarrassing details.

Video leaves you at the mercy of the universe, your own shortcomings, and makes little allowance for conditions bent on handing your own ass to you on a platter.

Welcome to the Flood. Now Here’s Your Ass.

I invested last Saturday getting pounded by the McCloud’s record-high flows with Frank Smethurst and a Barrett Productions video crew, shooting an episode of Trout Unlimited’s “On The Rise” TV show.

How’d you like one of these looking over your shoulder? Smethurst did, but I didn’t…

Nobody with a firm grip on reality would hammer out a quality fly fishing show on a river running high enough to flood the footpaths running alongside, but Smethurst and the video crew were on a mission.

TU’s On The Rise is unique in that it prizes fly fishing footage, but also highlights hot-button conservation issues.

Smethurst travels the country in a trout-painted Airstream trailer (which they left at home, damnit), and this time, he was looking into the threats to the McCloud River (perhaps the best-loved river of the assembled Undergrounders – and one of the prettiest).

These threats, of course, include the Underground’s close, personal friends at Swiss Multinational Predator Nestle Waters of North America (how do I love thee Nestle? Let me count the ways).

That’s why the effette, low-modulus, dry-fly fishing me found myself standing on the banks of the fast-moving, Nature Conservancy section of the McCloud (running at historic highs due to a broken PG&E powerhouse), 9′ 6wt Orvis Zero-G graphite fly rod in hand.

Attached was a streamer that weighed approximately the same as a Trident nuclear missile sub, which in all likelihood was more dangerous to the man casting it than it was to the trout (note to Undergrounders: when depth-charge streamers are involved, wear a hat, and fish something with a warranty.)

This, my friends, was not going to be pleasant.

Welcome to the World of Video. Now Here’s Your Ass.

Complicating matters was the presence of a two videographers and a sound man; people whose express purpose in life was to tape every embarrassing move, bad cast, odd utterance and trout I farmed.

While waiting for me to screw up (and tape it), the crew shot the pretty stuff.

Well, OK. Maybe that wasn’t what they said they were doing, but it’s clearly what they were trying to accomplish.

They also foolishly believed I’d be able to talk intelligently about Nestle issues while I fished, when instead I mostly was focused on not soiling myself on camera.

Expectations, it seems, are rarely our friends.

Clearly – with Smethurst capable of busting out a couple good trout even under awful conditions – they were looking to the Underground for something else, like… comic relief.

Welcome to the McCloud. Now here’s Your Ass.

Ultimately, Smethurst – a fly fisherman with more than two decades of guiding experience – pounded up good half-dozen nice trout and few smaller ones using techniques I’m willing to classify as “manly.”

Meanwhile, your hero acquitted his comic relief role beautifully; at our first stop, I got one ponderous wiggle from a nice fish on the streamer, didn’t hook up, and got halfway through the big fish temper tantrum before remembering the camera.

Later, I had another “feelgood” on the streamer, but figured I had the world by the tail when we found a couple rising fish.

This, my friends, was the kind of fishing I’m supposed to be good at; a hand-to-fin confrontation with the wily trout at the intersection of our native habitats.

Welcome to Rising Trout. Now Here’s Your Ass.

In one sense, I set the stage for my own humbling; we were headed for a spot I thought would fish well at high flows, but found another angler already fishing it. Turns out he was an Underground reader (therefore, his sanity is suspect), and he rather urbanely left when he saw us coming.

There my Underground friends, we found fish actually working a foam line, and while Smethurst went headhunting with the big stuff, I watched a big trout roll on (but not actually take) my first cast with an October Caddis.

My confidence swelled. I was going to catch nice trout while somebody recorded it for the rest of the world to see.

I stepped closer to the edge….

Welcome to Greek Tragedy. Now Here’s Your Ass.

Anyone with a working knowledge of Greek drama knows what’s coming; hubris is always rewarded with disaster (thus concluding today’s highbrow literary reference).

First, I lost my footing and narrowly avoided a swim.

Then I missed two grabs on the October Caddis.

Then switched to a small parachute (closer to the bug they were really eating).

Then missed four of those. Then hooked a small trout… briefly.

Then hooked another small trout… briefly.

Suddenly, soiling myself on camera was looking a lot better, and probably wouldn’t have been as damaging to my reputation.

Ultimately – while Smethurst landed a handful more nice trout on the big, heavily weighted October Caddis nymph – I banked exactly one ten-inch trout, an act which only made me feel like the dullard cousin at the family reunion.

No way that tiny McCloud rainbow trout makes the show.

I did, however, distinguish myself nicely as the day’s netman; apparently, netting an already-hooked fish is more within my skill horizon.

So Mom, break out the VCR – I think I’m going to be on TV.

Welcome to Television, Nestle. Now Here’s Your Ass.

Comedy aside, the conditions sucked and the crew was really cool (thought apparently underpaid to the point they were foraging in the blackberry bushes for food), and yes, I did get a kick out of the chance to talk about the McCloud River, Nestle, and some of the other water-related issues facing my area.

After all, within an hour’s drive of our meeting point, I’m looking at three significant trout-and-water-related problems (McCloud/Nestle; Klamath/Pacificorp; Shasta Dam/Westlands).

Still, the always-gorgeous McCloud River and Nestle were the main topics of conversation, and it’s nice to know both will get the recognition they so richly deserve come next June or July, though for entirely different reasons.

Fall color on the McCloud kept the crew busier than the fishing.

Welcome to On The Rise.

My first review of the On The Rise TV show was lukewarm; it felt stiff and unnatural, and yes, my expectations for the conservation angle were probably unrealistic.

Still, it was promising enough that I taped the whole season. Sure enough, as the season progressed, the shows got better, with Smethurst relaxing and enjoying the fishing.

The episode on the Gunnisson was pure fun on a stick; watching Smethurst laugh his way through an electro-shocking survey might be one of the better moments in fly fishing broadcast history.

I don’t know what the next season holds for On the Rise, but I give Trout Unlimited (still the other, less-famous TU) credit for mixing in a conservation angle.

That’s why – when Smethurst asked me exactly what the Trout Underground really was, I told him it was originally just one writer’s perspective on fly fishing – but that it had morphed into something bigger pretty quickly.

And yes, I did say it was time for fly fishermen to step it up a little on the conservation front, and that the Internet offered far more opportunities for that than did a magazine or even a fly fishing TV show, quick action being impossible with the latter two.

Welcome to the McCloud… Well, Wait...

My recent encounter with the McCloud suggests it’s not very much fun, and that despite fishing the few hand-picked spots I thought would offer the best chance.

Until the flows drop, I’d stay the hell away from the McCloud – something Smethurst heard me repeat several times. I was dying to put those guys on the Upper Sac October Caddis hatch, if only because you could actually stand in the river.

Then again, the Upper Sacramento’s been pretty crowded the last couple weeks, and though I’ve busted out a couple of big evenings there lately, it’s possible I’d have spent the day letting video nerves drive a way-too-fast, way-too-soon hookset – and without the existence of a handy excuse (say, raging flood waters).

See you on TV, Tom Chandler.

trout unlimited, on the rise, mccloud river, nestle, fly fishing, fishing, frank smethurst

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Face it: the odds of the Trout Underground winning any auction in excess of $20 are slim (I don’t have more than $20), but if a wealthy Undergrounder won and sent me (hint), I know what I’d do; I’d take that very, very cool trout-painted trailer for a joyride while Smethhurst fished.

Imagine the babe-pulling potential of that baby (chicks dig trout-painted airstreams).

I wasn’t wholly in love with the first On The Rise episodes, but it’s smoothing out, getting better, and maybe what it really needs to get over the hump is a daylong dose of the Underground.

See you in makeup, Tom Chandler.

Sadly, I just caught Madison River episode, and it fell far short.

The trailer is cool, but the episode is disappointingly stiff and slow moving.

While host Smethhurst (of Running Down the Man fame) will almost certainly get better as the series progresses, I’ve got to ask why the producers are still subjecting viewers to hoary, staged scenes that are feigning spontaneity?

In several instances, we’re supposed to believe Smethhurst is meeting someone for the first time, yet the camera’s already there to record the moment.

With fly fishing video shifting to an engaging documentary style (witness the rise of AEG, Felt Soul Media, and others), you have to wonder why On The Rise is playing out the stilted cliches of years past.

Transitions are slow, the scenes plodding, the narration ponderous, and we only catch glimpses of Smethhurst’s fly fishing talent.

A glance at the credits enlightens us; Barrett Productions is the company behind On The Rise (the folks who subjected the fly fishing world to all those glossy, quarter-inch-deep celebrity fly fishing videos and the painful-to-watch Fly Fishing Masters series).

On The Rise is a great concept (Smethhurst traveling the country in his trout-painted trailer) that fails to captivate.