There’s no way to sugarcoat this: The fly tying yarn fetishes in evidence on a few blog sites are frankly – and we mean this in the nicest possible way – scaring the living shit out of us.
Sure, a yarn fetish looks harmless here. But...
I’m seeing references to dozens of 200 yard+ skeins of yarn being tossed about, with a couple sites (unfortunately led by the Underground’s own Singlebarbed) hoarding yarn the way normal human beings hoard duct tape and ammo during flu scares.
And I’m saddened to report that the Underground’s Crack Investigative Reporting Team (who recently broke the Putlitzer-lock story of brown trout falling from the sky) managed to secure this frightening photograph of several yarn-obsessed Brownliners after an all-night tying session (sensitive readers and small children may want to look away):
Obsession's never pretty, my Underground friends - especially when yarn's involved.
Oh the humanity.
A study of the phenomenom suggests it starts simply; some “friend” offers another friend a “free” taste of a new yarn – maybe nothing more than a yard or two.
Soon, the poor fly tyer finds himself speed surfing the Internet for unusual materials, and then – in the actual words of one of the addicts himself – the obsession turns ugly and violent:
“I don’t buy the “gave me some†angle, most likely he stapled her knitting hand, and while coworkers applied bandages, rifled her possessions and grabbed it.”
Join me in helping to wipe out this scourge of the fly tying ranks by writing “I want to help: Save the Fly Tyers!” on a $20 bill and sending it to me immediately.
Together we can make a difference, perhaps even returning these sadly obsessed fly tyers to fully functioning human beings. But only if you act today.
See you making a difference, Tom Chandler.
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