At least if you believe what you read in National Geographic (I only get it for the articles).

They published their much-anticipated list of America’s Ten Most Dangerous Volcanoes.

It turns out I live smack on the flank of #5.

The Fifth Most Dangerous Volcano in America...

Surely, the vision of the keyboard that delights and amuses both my readers my massive readership lying mangled under tons of flesh-vaporizing, molten rock surely causes concern (if not outright consternation).

(Note to self: I always knew I was a risk-taker – one of those dangerous, bad-boy types that chicks should have thrown themselves at in high school. Sadly, proof of this comes 30 years too late.)

Here’s What This News Means To You

With both the McCloud and Upper Sacramento Rivers virtually certain to disappear under a 450 mph river of 1800-degree gas and debris – parboiling the trout and making rollcasting difficult – the Undergrounders are left with one inescapable truth.

Drop everything you’re doing right now.

And go fishing on the Upper Sacramento or McCloud. Before the volcano makes wading impossible. (Wading on magma: felt or rubber?)

See you casting into the fiery pit, Tom Chandler

I’ve never seen the northern lights in person, and until I do, I vow to remain suspicious. They appear too otherworldly to be real, and therefore may be a giant hoax being perpetrated on me by everyone else on the planet (tell me you haven’t had the exact same thought).