It’s not a stretch to say the Underground’s singular skill set renders him largely hopeless in the world of worthwhile employment, yet it’s likely I’m uniquely qualified to take possession of the following “Best Job in the World” courtesy the Australian government:
The job pays 150,000 Australian dollars (105,000 US dollars) and includes free airfares from the winner’s home country to Hamilton Island on the Great Barrier Reef, Queensland’s state government announced on Tuesday.
In return, the “island caretaker” will be expected to stroll the white sands, snorkel the reef, take care of “a few minor tasks” — and report to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries and video updates.
The successful applicant, who will stay rent-free in a three-bedroom beach home complete with plunge pool and golf buggy, must be a good swimmer, excellent communicator and be able to speak and write English.
“They’ll also have to talk to media from time to time about what they’re doing so they can’t be too shy and they’ll have to love the sea, the sun, the outdoors,” said acting state Premier Paul Lucas.
“The fact that they will be paid to explore the islands of the Great Barrier Reef, swim, snorkel and generally live the Queensland lifestyle makes this undoubtedly the best job in the world.”
Frankly, I’m considering suing the bastards for false advertising; how exactly could any job be considered the “Best in the World” without some assurance there’d be bonefish (or some equally racy gamefish) in abundance.
Then again, I’m thinking of applying, and finding out for myself. If it’s one thing I’ve demonstrated over the years, it’s that I’m willing to take The Big Hits for my readers – regardless of the personal suffering involved.
Given my bronze features and stunning good lucks, I’m sure the application and contest is simply a formality. In fact, I’m willing to bet that wily bunch in Australia actually asked the Fly Fishing in Yellowstone blog to forward this to me because the sting of a direct “No” answer would have simply been unbearable.
See you in bikini-encrusted Australia, Tom Chandler.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: You’re supposed to apply for the “job” at http://www.islandreefjob.com/ – but I think their server’s down right now (duh).
ANOTHER IMPORTANT UPDATE: The contest winner has been announced (amazingly, it wasn’t me, but that might have something to do with not applying). He’s some Brit, which frankly irritates me as they get all the great stuff because of those accents.
YET ANOTHER IMPORTANT UPDATE: Now the winner – who has only posted a handful of blog entries – is being accused of slacking.
Plus (frankly speaking), his writing style simply doesn’t compare to that of the Underground’s, and that job is still rightfully mine.
More important “Best Job in the World” news as it happens (from the world reporting headquarters of “Best Job” news reporting).
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