One of a long list of places I'd rather be...

The weather is drop-dead gorgeous. Yet our hero sits in his downstairs office.

Writing his ass off.

To pay the bills.

In what should probably drive me to a deep reexamination of my acceptance of life as it is, I’m squirreled away in the dungeon while the real squirrels cavort in the 80-degree sunshine.

So now even common rodents are having more fun than I am?

While I’d love to craft an intoxicating, deeply personal look at last weekend’s small stream fly fishing trip, instead you’re getting the fly fishing blogger’s equivalent of leftovers; a picture from opening day that somehow didn’t make its way into the blog.

More to come, but probably not today. Or tomorrow.

Note About Runoff

The Upper Sacramento’s flows are still high and happy to spike slightly when the temperatures rise, but after Sunday’s drive into the mountains with Little M and Wally the Wonderdog, I feel safe in suggesting we’re at the tipping point.

Soon, the flows will start that stair step trend downward (they ebb and flow a little daily) and while they’re over 1800 cfs now, keep an eye on them; they’ll turn into something better relatively soon.

See you wondering when my fave little streams will round into shape, Tom Chandler.

I wasn’t really surprised; in this part of the world, the snow level is currently around 5500 feet. But you know, this road and this pass were going to be different. Then we rolled around the corner just past 5400′ and the dream of being the first into a small alpine stream died.

The moment hope died...

Every time this happens I go through the usual stages; denial, anger, bargaining, depression over the lack of realtime satellite intel and finally, acceptance.

Usually, I don’t reach acceptance quickly. For a minute, I knew — despite the old tires — the Bronco could blow through the drifts, but even my fevered brain couldn’t ignore another set of *deeper* drifts waiting up ahead, and many more after that.

I pointed at the medium-sized streams of water running down the road and said “two weeks” and Older Bro nodded, though we both know it’s still just an attempt at grownup behavior.

That’s still too early to expect to make it into this stream, even given the light snow year.

Fortunately, our backup stream fished beautifully, and:

• We caught pretty brown trout on dry flies
• We tested a new fly rod against an old favorite (and arrived at opposite conclusions)
• I firmed up a wader review (coming soon)
• The “new” water I first fished last trip fished nicely again

Unfortunately, because were a little reluctant to walk away from catchable fish, we got to our Highly Experimental Stretch Of A Creek That Should Fish Great But Hasn’t a little late. This is the water that we’ve now fished (admittedly briefly) three times, yet despite looking absolutely perfect, it has yet to give up a single fish.

Or even a take.

We’ve crafted a whole series of worthwhile excuses for it — and I’ll be back again sometime soon — but after a while, you start to wonder about the nature of reality.

If a damned trout would just eat a dry fly, the universe would snap right back into its proper place.

Until then, everything feels just a tiny bit out of true, and I suspect it will remain so until I go back and invest a couple hours in the place, figuring it out or writing it off.

More to come as I get things written for my clients, Tom Chandler.

More after I discharge my Mom Day duties (Little M and I are taking a recon trip up a canyon and leaving the L&T [my Lovely & Talented to newer readers] to her massage).

I was ready, but the bastard wouldn't fall in.

See you doing dad things, Tom Chandler.

Happy Mother's Day!

Trips like this generate enough hope to power a small city, though all that wattage rubs against the very real possibility of abject failure and disappointment, so you wouldn’t normally make a big public deal about it (like posting it on a blog or anything).

Still, we’re planning to confirm a couple places we have been, try a couple we haven’t, and also to fish some of our “normal” spots. (Hey, we know there are fish there, so why not?)

Because you’re fishing and looking instead of just fishing, you don’t catch as many fish on these trips as you could, but I see it as an investment; fewer trout now mean more places — and more trout — in the future.

And unlike your 401k, it’s an investment that’s probably on solid ground.

Since I’m posting this late on a Friday afternoon on Pacific Standard Time (thereby ensuring it’ll be read by upwards of three people), I’ll stop here, except to note that looking for new fish and new water in your own neighborhood offers the best of all worlds.

You’re dealing with few exotic diseases and a minimal carbon footprint, yet unlike that spot halfway around the world, there’s a chance you’ll make it back next weekend.

See you on the map, Tom Chandler.

Covering that human-driven mess in 1800 words means taking a few shortcuts, but overall, I’m happy with the article, which each and every one of you should run out and buy this instant.

Outside of the check I received for writing CA Fly Fisher’s “The Good Fight” section, it’s clear I benefited from the article in other ways; Little M recently used a word that raised the L&T’s eyebrows, and I only escaped punishment through clever use of reasonable doubt:

“She must have learned it during my many discussions of Klamath “dam” removal. Yeah, that’s the ticket.”

See? Fly fishing’s not just good for your soul. It’s good for your health as well.

See you practicing not saying the wrong things, Tom Chandler

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It was too dark to see him (much less take a picture), though I had what I’d call an instructive moment; about a minute after the bear bath started, I noticed my wife had left her car dome light on. Though it was parked around the corner of the house from the bear’s current location, I suddenly realized I was fine with the idea of the dome light remaining on all night, especially if the alternative was for me to wander into the bear-equipped dark to turn it off.

Then early this morning Wally chased a fox off the property, though because he’s old and a little gimpy, he didn’t actually seem to mean it — an elaborate bit of animal-based performance art instead of a meaningful attempt to kill anything.

Clearly, certain rhythms must be obeyed.

Still, it must have tired him; this afternoon he slept through an hourlong visit by three small deer.

Lawn mowers...

It’s almost as if we’re channeling Marlin Perkins over here, and spring is just getting underway.

The Busy Stuff

I spent yesterday touring Hat Creek and the Rising River for CalTrout (some Hat Creek restoration posts coming soon to CalTrout, but I’ll point you in the right direction).

This weekend I’m heading somewhere small, dark and fishy, and all that remains is to decide where.

Still, work is demanding enough that I had to pass on a chance to fish the McCloud with CalTrout Executive Director Jeff Thompson, who is a hell of a stick.

Sure, he nymphs, and I’ve pointed out that he’s probably going to hell for that, but it’s nice to have a real fisherman running what amounts to a fisherman’s conservation organization.

See you on the river (maybe even tonight), Tom Chandler.

The latest — courtesy of Alert Underground Reader Ian — demonstrates both a profound fear of wolves and a truly stunning lack of spelling skills (from the SF Chronicle):

The Siskiyou County Board of Supervisors is scheduled to consider a proposed law Tuesday that would “prohibit the presents of wolves in Siskiyou County.”

The misspelled ordinance, written by Leo Bergeron, the president of the Siskiyou County Water Users Association, was not referring to wolf welcome gifts, but the presence of wolves in the county.

Some of you might remember Leo Bergeron’s name — he signed the falsified coho salmon de-listing petition on behalf of the Siskiyou County Water Users Association, and given how the proposed ordinance came out, we might want to double-check that signature for the correct spelling.

At times, Siskiyou County makes the movie Idiocracy seem like an entirely plausible documentary.

You can be sure that — as soon as the black helicopters swoop in and start raining wolves and communism among the populace — I’ll let you know. I’ll even take pictures so you know their presents is real.

See you in bizarreoland, Tom Chandler

Fortunately, the Underground was founded in November of 2005, which means several fly fishing bloggers have done this longer than I have, foremost among them Alistair at the Urban Fly Fisher blog.

I suggest we make Alistair or Moldy (circa March 2005) wear the adult diapers.

Still, before I grow too old to blog, here are a few stories to consider — the kind of stories us seasoned bloggers write.

Winnemem Tribe Declares War on US Forest Service?

A couple weeks ago the Winnemem Wintu tribe asked the US Forest Service for a mandatory closure of 300 yards of the McCloud River (at Shasta Lake) for a coming of age ceremony for their daughters.

In 2006 and 2010, drunken boaters (who’d have guessed that boaters drink) motored right through the “Voluntary Closure” signs and — we might be editorializing just a wee bit — acted like complete assholes to the ceremony participants.

The Forest Service hasn’t responded, so the Winnemem decided to hold a War Dance, which feels a little bit like they’re declaring war on the Forest Service.

We’ll let you know if hostilities break out.

Elwha Dam Removal Blog

Because dam removal is something to be savored, I’ve tapped into the Elwha River Dam Removal Blog, which offers regular updates and other goodness, including photographs of the process.

The dam's almost gone, making this my new happy place.

Biologists planted coho salmon above the dams prior to removal (there’d be a brood ready to head downstream when the dams were gone), and they found this:

Fish biologists were excited earlier this month to find offspring of the adult coho salmon released above the Elwha dam site. Biologists observed coho fry in Little River (via screw trap) and 600 fry in Indian Creek via snorkeling in 0.4 miles. These young fish will have direct access to the Strait of Juan de Fuca in spring 2013.

In a year sure to be dominated by election “news” (and won’t that be pleasant), you might consider it one of your online Happy Places.

It’s National Wetlands Month!

How is it possible we didn’t know this was National Wetlands Month?

You can’t help but get a little moist when you hear news like that (did you see what I did there? High five!), and because National Geographic is all about the online experience, they’ve produced a little pop-up, interactive learning slideshow thingee that’s actually pretty cool.

Well, OK. The pictures are cool (the text is actually kinda boring), but I like the format. I may steal that for some upcoming project.

Until then, see you in diapers, Tom Chandler.

A recent video attacking Klamath River dam removal in Siskiyou County trotted out all the usual falsehoods (the dams protect salmon, the removal will “devastate” Siskiyou County ranchers, coho aren’t native to the Klamath, yadda yadda…).

Frankly, that’s about par for the course up here.

What is remarkable about the (professionally produced) video can be summed up in two bullet points:

• At one point, County Supervisor Grace Bennett actually invokes the United Nations (Agenda 21) as one of the reasons the government’s trying to remove the dams
• Oil billionaire money is now making an appearance in the Klamath dam removal fight

Big Money (And Black Helicopters) Come To Siskiyou County

You can’t help but notice this video was produced by Americans For Prosperity, which turns out not to be a grassroots organization, but a front group for the Koch Brothers.

If you don’t know who the Koch Brothers are, they’re oil company billionaires (Koch Industries is the second-largest privately owned company in the USA), and they’re slowly (and reluctantly) becoming famous for secretly funding disinformation campaigns about climate change. (The New Yorker published an excellent article on the Koch Brothers here.)

In thinly populated Siskiyou County — where campaign signs are often hand-stenciled affairs created in the candidate’s garage — it’s hard to fathom the impact of billionaire oil money on the fight to remove the Klamath Dams

The whole affair has already morphed from a decision about relicensing privately owned dams which will begin losing $20 million year and are extincting salmon populations into a fight against socialist government black helicopter oppression.

It would all make more sense if there wasn’t all this peer-reviewed science suggesting the dams do a lot of damage and very little actual good.

At several points in the video ranchers repeat the claim that they’re the best stewards of the river and the area, yet their plan for preventing coho salmon extinction is to pretend the coho don’t actually exist.

Stellar work, guys.

As a resident of Siskiyou County, I’ve grown used to watching the county drag itself into one bad fight after another while the supervisors generally act like fools, and I can say with some certainty the disinformation that characterizes this fight will flow as freely as before.

It’s just that suddenly, that disinformation is being funded by billionaires with a long history of doing exactly that sort of thing.

See you watching the game change seemingly overnight, Tom Chandler.