Underground Entertainment

Finally — Hope For Fly Fishing’s Helplessly Addicted…

January 24, 2012, by Tom Chandler 12 comments

Never let it be said that the Underground turns a blind eye to the plight of steelheaders those struggling with addiction, which is why we’ve chosen to courageously publicize perhaps the Most Important Press Release We’ve Ever Received:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 24th, 2012 – Doron Ofir Casting, (Millionaire Matchmaker, My Strange Addiction, Jersey Shore) officially confirms and announces for the first time ever, real people struggling with addiction will have the opportunity to take part in a revolutionary and groundbreaking documentary series chronicling the emotional and physical struggles of addiction—“REHAB with DR. DREW”.

Participants will be given a once in a lifetime opportunity to enroll in a no-cost, 30-day treatment program to begin the process of breaking free from the bonds of addiction and take their first steps down the road to recovery.

VH1, in association with Irwin Entertainment and Doron Ofir Casting, is currently searching for those struggling with substance addiction but not ready to give up hope.

“If you are ready to fight to take your life back into your own hands, I’m hoping to find you! Instead of giving in, make a change and seek the help you need. I want your story and why you need the help. Your story can be someone else’s hope.” Doron Ofir, Executive Casting Director

Realize that recovery can become your reality.

Please apply online at http://www.rehabcasting.com

Wow. Who knew there existed a reality tv-based cure for addiction?

Of course, we’re 100% sure the casting of this wholly non-sensationalistic show won’t be biased towards those with the ability to fill a C-cup, so all you fly fishermen — who as a group tend to peg the rattiness meter — should apply right away.

Make sure to tell them you’re not only addicted to fly fishing, but have developed a Spey craving that has cost you several relationships.

With the coastal rivers running either dry or muddy brown as of late, you can also truthfully say you’re hitting rock bottom.

Even as I write this, I am dabbing at the tears forming in the corner of my eyes (just like I would were I chosen for this reality series [hint, hint]).

At the Underground, we can’t help but give. You know that about us.

See you in reality TV rehab, Tom Chandler.

We’re Working Hard For You During This Snowstorm (And Why I Still Love Fly Fishing Small Streams)

January 19, 2012, by Tom Chandler 14 comments

While those other bloggers are satisfied simply posting useful information, witty writing and pretty photographs, the Underground does more for its readers.

The last two days have found me working hard, stacking next year’s trout water (in the form of snow) in neat piles alongside the driveway, keeping it away from filthy things like dirt and grease until it finds it way into a trout stream near you.

I know.

At the Underground, the giving never stops.

Today's experimental snow picture...

And those nice, neat piles? They’re growing rapidly. Yesterday the Underground/Man Cave World Headquarters — located above the alpine town of Mt. Shasta — got ten inches of snow; last night was another 3″, and today’s it’s going gangbusters, and a foot is likely.

In fact, I’ll be out there again with Mr. Snowblower as soon as this is posted.

(In a reminder that I need new friends, Raine accused me of not putting fuel stabilizer in the gas tank of the Honda snowblower after it took three pulls to get it started.)

With lesser amounts of snow predicted to fall through the weekend, it’s clear the high-pressure system keeping California snow-free is gone. Whether we reach our “normal” snowpack after one of the slowest starts to winter in recorded history remains to be seen.

At least we’ll have some water to throw at next year’s trout, and while I’m probably happier when I don’t face an hour or two of snowblowing duty per day, I will say this about the snow: It’s About Goddamned Freakin’ Time

The Media Thing

If you haven’t stumbled across the Underground’s Catch Magazine discussion — where one of the ezines announced a $12 annual subscription fee, and readers and content creators reacted — then stop by.

I’m amazed by the depth of the comments, which are covering a lot of ground, both philosophically and practically.

The world is changing, and while pundits are fond of throwing around terms like “disruptive technologies” and all, it’s far from an abstract concept if you’re a writer or photographer or other person whose professional life has been upended.

And given the pace of the change (ebooks now represent more than 20% of the book market, tablet PC sales are going through the roof, everything “streams”, etc.), things aren’t slowing down. In fact, the change is probably only beginning.

Where It All Relates To Fly Fishing

Maybe all this change explains my recent small stream fly fishing kick. Extremely high-modulus marketing jargon, prohibitively expensive foreign lodges, and two-handed fly rods are not needed to catch 8″ backcountry trout, which, it turns out, are largely immune to the latest trends.

On small streams, the tips printed in the musty books I read as a kid still work, the fish are still impossibly gorgeous, and the primal “me catch fish” jolt to the brain still fires, which is precisely why someone facing dramatic change in his professional and family lives would tend to find it all pretty comforting.

See you caretaking next year’s trout water, Tom Chandler

Wally the Wonderdog: Clearly A Leg Man

January 10, 2012, by Tom Chandler 5 comments

On today’s walk, the always-up-for-something-stinky Underdog found a deer’s leg in the forest. He’s one proud, happy dude (being as the smell would gag a hyena with a head cold).

The Modern Steelheader?

January 7, 2012, by Tom Chandler 2 comments

A sign of the Coming Postcard Apocalypse?

This comes courtesy the Bad Postcards site, which posts the cheesiest vintage postcards ever created by man (and on a daily basis).

“I Better Call You Back. The Hatch Is Starting.”

January 5, 2012, by Tom Chandler 3 comments

Mobile phones are pretty much killing off the phone booth, and at the Underground, we’re always alert for cool new uses for obsolete technology — especially those offering you the potential to fly fish your way through your next conference call:

Uhh, hold on a second. The hatch is starting...

Phone booths are disappearing. Might as well make the best of it...

See you on the line, Tom Chandler.

Why This Isn’t A Fishing Report

January 5, 2012, by Tom Chandler 8 comments

Sickness and disease plague the Underground

2012 isn’t exactly off to a rousing start; less than twelve hours after our Monday, 2:30 a.m. arrival, I came down with a head cold, and because Little M caught a stomach bug, I spent Tuesday instructing her on the fine art of throwing up (incline the torso to make as straight a path as possible — and keep an old toothbrush around to get rid of the taste).

And yes, every time I get sick I’m amazed at how quickly I’m transformed from Writer/Consultant/Fly Fisherman Brimming With Ideas to Cranky Old Man Muttering Under His Breath About Crazy Shit.

It may not be one of my stellar attributes.

Why This Isn’t A Fishing Report

Today’s (and yesterday’s) planned fishing trips — rewards to myself for a December jammed with things that were definitely not fly fishing trips — are now dead and gone.

As any parent will tell you, three year-olds aren’t bombs that detonate in the middle of your life; they’re a series of them, and looking forward to 2012, one thing the L&T are going to fix is the uncertain state of our child care.

This time, Little M is sick, but when anyone in her daycare provider’s family gets sick, she’s home, which means I probably am too, which means I’m not out fishing.

Or getting much done on the work front.

I’m all for looking forward at the turn of the year, I’m also a believer in looking back and fixing what didn’t work.

That didn’t, and sometimes for weeks at a stretch.

OK, So What’s Next?

I was recently interviewed by California Fly Fisher about traditional vs digital media (I’ll let you know when the issue appears), and the basis for the interview was a 2006 post about fly fishing magazines.

A lot has changed since then, and I’d suggest the first wave of the digital revolution is settling out, but that some truly disruptive stuff is about to move within knife-fighting distance of the fly fishing industry, which — despite a lot of whining to the contrary — has enjoyed a certain immunity (I go into the reasons for this in the interview).

That can change in a hurry, and I’ve got some thoughts about that, and you’ll get a chance to accept or reject them in a post.

See you on the river (tomorrow!), Tom Chandler.

“I’m Your Pilot, And I’m Not Wearing Any Pants.” (An Homage To That Zany Bunch At United Airlines)

January 1, 2012, by Tom Chandler 19 comments

To illustrate why I’m writing this post from Hawaii instead of the Underground/Man Cave World Headquarters, I’ll use a simple analogy involving these common, household items:

Your local supermarket
A pair of pants

Imagine getting behind the wheel of your car to drive to the supermarket, but before you turned the key, you suddenly realized you were stark naked.

Even the slightly-below-average among the Undergrounders would realize you could start the car, and you could even drive it, but because you weren’t wearing any pants, you couldn’t actually get out and shop.

Apparently, United Airlines isn’t even that smart.

After a four-hour delay, they flew a jet into Kona airport with the bare legal minimum of six flight attendants — one of whom then timed out (flight crews are only allowed to work a set number of hours).

“Gosh” the naked driver would say to himself. “I’d better get dressed before I leave the garage.”

By contrast, the naked people running things at United Airlines decided to strand us in an outdoor terminal for six hours, before — and this is the part that still brings tears of mirth to my eyes — we boarded the plane.

And sat for two more hot, stuffy, kinda fragrant hours.

It was at this point that the threat of airline jihad had grown too strong to ignore, and our Close, Personal Naked Friends at United finally got on the PA and admitted they weren’t wearing any pants.

And that we had as much chance of flying as Donald Trump had of becoming respectable.

Which leads us to the part that cemented our flight crew as world-class humorists.

After explaining their practical joke, the pilot said: “Now here’s the part you’re not going to like.”

(Because, you know — we were enjoying the hell out of the “we just wasted a day of your life” portion of the announcement.)

For a good-sized plane jammed with people, United only had 16 hotel rooms.

See? Naked and funny.

Fortunately, we still had a place to stay.

Tomorrow, United Airlines wants us back at 11:45.

Let’s hope they’re wearing pants.

The Travel Games Continue (or, Happy New Years, United Airlines Style)

December 31, 2011, by Tom Chandler 7 comments

It’s New Years Eve, and while my “Predictions for 2012″ post will come later, I can now safely predict the following: United Airlines is going to screw with us on today’s flight home.

How do I know? In point of fact, that merry band of practical jokers — cleverly masquerading as a real business — have already started.

Our early afternoon flight has already been delayed three hours, and our seats — already none too choice to begin with — have been scrambled yet again.

Yay, United Airlines! Well played, my frisky airline opponents.

(Which flight attendant is taking care of Little M again?)

The cherry topping atop this Parfait of Travel Pain is that we’re supposed to show up at the airport in time to make the original flight, just in case they pull their heads out of their… well, anyway.

So we’re looking at three hours in a small, crowded terminal with a trending-towards-savage three year-old, which gives us all plenty of time to ponder the following question:

When exactly did banks, airlines, oil companies and others start treating customers approximately the same way a baby treats a diaper?

Assuming we’re not shifted to seats on the wing (our homage to William Shatner), I’ll see you at SFO. Tom Chandler.

UPDATE: The Skycap told us they’ve got nearly 50 more passengers than seats. Excellent gambit, United! I salute you…

UPDATE: Ha! 4:20 and through airplane hasn’t arrived in HI yet. United, we salute you (guess which salute?).

Today’s Wholly Unrelated To Fly Fishing Questions For The Undergrounders

December 28, 2011, by Tom Chandler 42 comments

I was introducing Little M to the concept of waves today (she remains fearless) when I realized I was humming the Hawaii Five-0 theme song.

Later, I caught myself humming the Magnum PI theme song.

Which is interesting, because I haven’t thought of either for literally years. Fortunately — because I’m not fly fishing on this trip so I don’t have to worry about my nail knots or anything — I’m enjoying lots of free thinking time.

This led to something of a multiple epiphany right there on the beach (fortunately, I don’t think anybody noticed):

It hardly seems possible, but bikinis are getting even smaller (pretty soon we’ll have to call them “biteenis”)
Memory association is a funny thing

Some say the Hawaii Five-0 TV theme was the best of all time, though I have heard some philistines claim the Magnum P.I. theme (an awful show that oddly got much better over the last handful of seasons), isn’t too bad either, though if I had to vote — and I was having a bad day — I might pick the Cheers theme (you can find all three below).

Thus, we come to today’s two-part, wholly-unrelated-to-fly-fishing questions for the Undergrounders: