Underground Entertainment

Dad Smells, The Hope Fly Rod, And Plumbing Abuse

By Tom Chandler 1/7/2013

"Dad, you smell bad."

Though my daughter was a little impolitic, she was definitely right. Last Thursday I was putting gear together for a fatalistic winter attempt on the Upper Sac's BWO hatch.

The river has fallen to 750 cfs range, which isn't ideal, but even to an effete, low-modulus dry-fly type, it's wholly fishable. And I figured the BWOs might be making an appearance (sfx: music -- "It's the most wonderful time of the year")

So a Friday or Saturday assault on the river was in the plans... right up until what I'll benignly label The Stomach Flu Of Doom
arrived.

At some point very early Friday morning -- and several points during the next two days -- I found myself crawling to the bathroom so I could abuse our plumbing in the most heinous way possible.

Fever, splitting headache, dehydration, regular cookie tossing... these are the elemental components of my weekend, so when Sunday rolled around, I'd been wearing/sweating the same pajama/fleece/fleece layers for 2.5 days, and yes, it felt like I was growing fur underneath it all.

Which is when Little M piped up.

The germophobes in the Underground's readership have already fled this post, but I want to assure you this is not some woossie, blow-by-blow (apt language that) whine about getting sick.

No sir.

It's a whine about not going fishing during one of my rare opportunities to do so.

And yes, I do damn well do expect some pity from my readers. I mean, why else would anyone blog? (Pity in the form of cash donations will be accepted here.)

Certainly, cash is preferable to the alternative, where I rename the Underground "No, Dad's Not Going Fishing Today Either."

Still, the river remains in good shape (the water temperature's hovering at a sluggish 40 degrees), so another attempt may be in the cards, though I've got a website to launch and a couple contracts to wrangle.

Still, hope lives ("Hope" remains the single-best, still-unused name for a line of fly rods).

Several feet of snow and freezing weather have basically turned the Dunsmuir/Mt. Shasta area into a giant ice cube (just yesterday I chopped and slid several hundred pounds of ice off the back porch, and this morning I went all WRC down the driveway taking the kids to preschool). But as long as it all doesn't thaw too quickly, we've got the potential for a winter BWO trip.

See you watching the flows, Tom Chandler.
AuthorPicture

Tom Chandler

As the author of the decade leading fly fishing blog Trout Underground, Tom believes that fishing is not about measuring the experience but instead of about having fun. As a staunch environmentalist, he brings to the Yobi Community thought leadership on environmental and access issues facing us today.

13 comments
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marty: Now that Mike is a deep philosophical question…….. It being Hades likely the hatch is always on and your flies just a tad off. The eternity of refusal rises makes Sisyphus’ rock gig seem like a vacation.I’m sure I’d have to fish it with a fast graphite rod and quiet reel too….. Marty, Do you think Charon does a drift boat gig too?
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You're probably right, Marty. Either that or they'll only take #24 nymphs on 7X tippet. Pure hell.
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Tom ...this post stinks! lets go fishing !
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Amusingly, I don't think the kids had anything to do with this one. Pretty sure I got this from an adult, and they typically react poorly when you ask them to step under a bleach shower before entering the house. Where has basic civility gone?
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Turnip Truck Driver: Look on the bright side, many spend thousands of dollars to visit shamans for their cleansing powers. "Tom Chandler: Writing, Consulting & High Colonics"
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I just sent you my HS-106/BTT form, so don't forget to return my waiver.
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Steve Z: Donation made. Sadly I’ve only been out fishing for trout twice while you’ve been ill and only caught two handfuls of wild trout. Of course, on nymphs so it really wouldn’t count to a dry fly purist. You're going to hell too. Your only hope is the donation to Rick Hodes, who is already on the side of the angels. Thanks.
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Mike Sepelak: I’ll be in good company. Do you think there’s trout in the Styx? Now that Mike is a deep philosophical question........ It being Hades likely the hatch is always on and your flies just a tad off. The eternity of refusal rises makes Sisyphus' rock gig seem like a vacation. I'm sure I'd have to fish it with a fast graphite rod and quiet reel too.....
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I’ll be in good company. Do you think there’s trout in the Styx?
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Tom Chandler: You’re going to hell. I'll be in good company. Do you think there's trout in the Styx?
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Mike Sepelak: “See you watching the flows” Ummm, which flows were you referring to, Tom? You're going to hell.
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Tom, Use this simple method I learned when the grandbrats were on an extended stay here... 1. Dip child in bleach solution 2. Rinse in hand sanitizer 3. Keep at least 10 feet away from them at all times This doesn't help now of course; Hot lemon and whiskey toddys and oatmeal are a good restoritive until you can stagger out to the river.....
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Kentucky Jim: If you haven’t gotten your new fishing license, this was God’s way of keeping you from incurring a huge fine. Got my 2013 license in early December. I was ready, man. I coulda been a contender.
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