It’s not every day the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) announces that a non-existent species does, in fact, not exist, but there it is, in living pixelated color:
Why is the NOAA denying the existence of mermaids? What are they hiding?
Fortunately, you’ll find an explanation for the madness here, though frankly, I’ve been in proximity to the Siskiyou County Board of Supervisors far too long to think there isn’t some darker secret lurking behind the inanity.
Are secret mermaid colonies the real reason the United Nations says the Klamath Dams have to come out?
Frankly, this seems plausible. More on this story as our medication wears off…
SO disappointed. Every fisherman’s fantasy, squashed, leaving us with just Bigfoot which, frankly, doesn’t quite measure up. Damn you NOAA!
Mike(Quote)
We still have the fantasy that somehow guys in rubber pants can seem appealing to women…
Tom Chandler(Quote)
Are you saying they’re not?
Mike(Quote)
You see a lot of fly fishermen on the cover of GQ?
Tom Chandler(Quote)
The presents of woofs and mermaids in Siskiyou County would certainly upset our John Birch Society meetings! Their offspring could infest every coffee shop in the county with lycanthropic socialists that have above average swimming skills – not to mention the unfair advantage they would have on our trout streams.
Noiso(Quote)
Out of all of those, it’s the “socialist” tag that’s the most frightening to the Supes…
Tom Chandler(Quote)
Iv”e swam with them! Tough part is getting their panties off. If you know what I mean.
Punahele(Quote)
Adult mermaids in our geographic area seek spawning areas near stream system headwaters. These fine females prefer to spawn upon gold nuggets, during the full moon, such as what’s in store for tonight. Together, the Siskiyou County BOS and the CIA were behind the recent, covert, gold nugget theft at our local Courthouse building. The heist was well organized and part of an effort to help generate a supply of original, local, gold nuggets meant to attract this mermaid species back to its preferred spawning grounds. Absent a full moon or during daylight hours, one may often observe mermaids, disguised as skinning-dipping hippie-girls, upon the rocks of upper Parks Creek.
UN support has consistently been centered around these kinds of re-introduction efforts for these unique creatures. Our local Jefferson-type mermaids are internationally known and widely praised for their long, slender opposing thumbs as well as their really nice tails.
Bri(Quote)
This sounds like the voice of experience. You pig.
Tom Chandler(Quote)