Sage makes great fly rods and all — they didn’t get to where they are by pumping out a stream of losers — but frankly, they could use a little help in the corporatespeak department (this from their just-released ONE fly rod announcement):

The ONE rod is the first precision casting instrument to take advantage of Sage’s groundbreaking Konneticâ„¢ technology. The ONE offers exceptional tracking with virtually no lateral or torsional movement, resulting in astonishing casting accuracy that is unparalleled in the marketplace.

The inherent strength of Konnetic technology allows ONE rods to have a smaller diameter and are 25% lighter than comparable Sage rods. These attributes combine to provide augmented aerodynamic efficiency. Further innovations are the 70% lighter, low profile ferrules that help direct and carry energy through the rod without sacrificing strength, critical action and feel.

“The ONE rod becomes a true extension of the angler’s arm,” notes Sage Chief Rod Designer, Jerry Siem. “It offers a more fluid transmission of energy from the arm to the fly. The eye sees the cast it wants to make and is translated to the hand through the rod instantaneously.”

Astonishing? Unparalleled? Augmented aerodynamic efficiency?

Do people still cast these things, or are the rods doing it all themselves? Oh wait:

“The eye sees the cast it wants to make and is translated to the hand through the rod instantaneously”

Really??

Isn’t it more likely that “the mind reels at the onslaught of the mega-hypish copy which is translated to a deep, nauseous feeling instantaneously?”

And I’ll let the Undergrounders debate the wisdom of naming your latest fly rod the “ONE” (makes you wonder what’s coming next).

C’mon Sage. By every measure, you build really, really nice fly rods.

Why can’t you talk to us like we’re all, you know… people.

Dr. Tom’s prescription? I suggest Sage undergo an emergency corporatespeak-ectomy. Maybe take a lesson in folksy brand marketing from Scott Rods.

Relax a little. Maybe have a beer. Record yourselves explaining the good stuff behind the ONE rod to some young guy with that fever in his eyes, then send that text out to the world — most of which already knows you make good fly rods even before you bury us in suffocating superlatives.

See you further befriending the industry, Tom Chandler.