bamboo fly rods,    dave roberts,    end of times,    rapture,    Underground Entertainment

With The World About To End, I'm Going Fly Fishing (Just In Case, I'm Bringing My Bamboo Fly Rods)

By Tom Chandler 5/20/2011

With the world coming to an end at 6pm Saturday, neatness demands I tie up a few loose ends.

First, because I selflessly work my fingers to the bone for the Undergrounders -- expecting little in return save the occasional bowl of gruel --- it's pretty clear I'll be headed skyward when the earth starts belching fire and clouds of stinging asps bearing the face of Donald Trump emerge and go all medieval on the poor schlubs left behind.

It's equally clear that most of the unappreciative Undergrounders -- who never truly recognized my genius and are about to pay dearly for the oversight -- will be among the poor schlubs, and it seems only fair to say the following:

Neener. Neener.

You see, not only am I going to a better place (apparently the hot water never runs out), I'll be headed there with a fly rod in my hand.

Longtime bamboo buddy Dave Roberts and I have been absent from each other's fishing calendar for far too long, and if the Rogue River's barely fishable flows hold up, I'll be cruising north and fishing the just-underway Upper Rogue stonefly hatch for steelhead.

The last time we did this, a great, big, ginormous steelhead ate the big stonefly dry right in front of me, and because I'm a cool, steely eyed fly fishing sonofabitch ("I shot a man in Dunsmuir once just to watch him die"), I set on him like I was trying to club myself with the fly rod, immediately snapping the 3x tippet before... actually clubbing myself with the fly rod.

Dad would have been so proud.

And yes, the Rogue's flows are unstable enough that there is a Plan B.

A secret Plan B.

The Gear Rapture

Dave Roberts and I met long before I moved to Dunsmuir, sharing an affinity for dry flies, small streams, colorful trout and bamboo fly rods.

We've been fast friends ever since, even to the point of Dave being the best man at my wedding (I needed a steady, calm, bamboo-style guy marshaling the flask of Irish Whiskey which kept me from soiling myself on The Happiest Day of My Life).

Over time, our paths have diverged; I'm pretty set for bamboo fly rods while Dave probably qualifies for some kind of intervention.

I'll bring a strong 6wt fly rod and nymph if needed, but because it's Dave, I'm also bringing my 8'6" James Beasley-built Payne Canadian Canoe rod, which is a nice 7wt at stonefly ranges.

And just in case we end up on the highly technical Holy Water, I'll pack a nice bamboo 5wt (haven't decided which yet).

If I'm taken in the rapture, I want to be taken while in possession of a couple nice fly rods.

See you headed skyward (well, not most of you), Tom Chandler.

AuthorPicture

Tom Chandler

As the author of the decade leading fly fishing blog Trout Underground, Tom believes that fishing is not about measuring the experience but instead of about having fun. As a staunch environmentalist, he brings to the Yobi Community thought leadership on environmental and access issues facing us today.

15 comments
A canard is a false or baseless, usually derogatory story, report or rumor. One n, not two. See, aren't I helpful? Speaking of gear rapture, I am now the owner of not one, but two, two handed rods. Long story about how I wound up with two, but a new toy is a new toy, or two. Reels and lines to go with, of course. Guess I'll have to move down to Roseville, where there is water big enough to use 'em.
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My first post-rapture activity was to stalk our favorite brown-liner: http://bit.ly/jc8zAE
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And I got to use "theological" and "underpinnings" in a sentence.
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Damn, your logic is impenetrable. I AM doomed.
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I'm afraid I have to question your theological underpinnings; have you never heard of Saint Gordon; the patron saint of fly fishermen and bamboo fly rods? For that matter, with lightning bolts bound to be flying about like lies at a political debate, it's likely anyone holding a conductive graphite rod will be incinerated before the guy waving wood...
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samistopdog: I'll be sitting there Monday morning my damn self Did I mention I came down with a pretty bad head cold? No voice, lots of lung butter? I think you'll be fine in Dave's boat provided you don't actually touch anything. Enjoy.
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Sully: How many Undergrounders got to wish their wives, “Happy Anniversary AND happy apocalypse.”? There is a disturbing schizophrenia about this, especially given this: Simply by the act of marrying you your wife qualifies for some kind of angel status.
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See, I don't even know what a canard is, so I'm taking it as a compliment...
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Jeanne in TX: Definitely gotta share that one with my kids! That might actually qualify as some kind of parental abuse.
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While I'm sure you're worthy, I am concerned about the choice of bamboo. I'm not saying you won't be raised up by the rapture, but those bamboo rods will be piles of ash should you have to stick around (accidentally, I'm sure) for the Tribulation. Those of us who are flay the streams with graphite will outfish bamboo enthusiasts right through the earthquakes, floods, pestilence and fires of hell.
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Damn it to hell please oh mighty one if there is going to be any soiling of pants ...not in the front seat of Dave's boat...I'll be sitting there Monday morning my damn self...unless it's true today is the last of my miserable life...oh well, at least I got to read said wisdom of the holy grail of outdoor type writers ( is this sic enough?) before I checked out. Oh and if you forget the Payne I'll ... more bring it back on Thursday on my return trip.
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How many Undergrounders got to wish their wives, "Happy Anniversary AND happy apocalypse."? Our honeymoon was at Chico Hot Springs and YES we did fish Armstrong. Well, I fished Armstrong. Janet painted.
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Huh? What?I'm still here??? Tom is going to The Holy Water ( I LIKE that river alot,too bad it's a skunkfest when I fish it) so clean living has paid off for somebody...sigh....
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Tom, that's a base canard you're perpetrating on your readership. We have always recognized every little, tineensy bit of your genius. Such as it is... [running for bomb shelter, as it's nearly Rapture time or something]
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"clouds of stinging asps bearing the face of Donald Trump" Busted out laughing! Definitely gotta share that one with my kids!
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