UPDATE: Like with the April Fools digital film backs for old film cameras, it appears I’ve been bamboozled again. What’s sad is that both hoaxes are with products that could have a Profound Effect on Humanity if actually released. Damn.
This is almost too horrible to contemplate, yet I can already sense a number of the Undergrounders are wondering if they couldn’t shoot this squeezable Swedish delicacy directly into their mouths:
Bacon in a bottle? Could it be, ahhhh, Satan?
It is, in fact “100% Bacon” cooked down to a kind of gummy mess.
To think we just avoided one apocalypse, only to face another…
See you in the cardiac unit, Tom Chandler.
I don’t know if to revel in the pure bacony goodness of the though, or recoil in the horror of squeezable bacon.
FWC Cliff – Seattle, WA(Quote)
Gawwwddd…the perfect compliment to slaw dogs…
Kentucky Jim(Quote)
If only it were to come in small packets — like ketchup — and all would be right with the world.
Smarter and Better Looking Brother(Quote)
TC – Yes, tests confirm, you CAN squeeze this wonderful, tasty paste directly into your pie hole. It also works like Cheez Whiz, your other favorite squeezable snack. If you’re really looking to impress the girls, hold it at arm’s length and still hit the target. That’ll show’em.
KJ, Tests here at the Underground (I’m talking about the other Underground; the one run by the smarter, better-looking writer; you know, the food guy? Sheesh, how many more hints do I need to give you??) show that this condiment works wonders with a Slaw Dog. It’s ideal on bologna roast. It’s perfect with Spam musubi. About the only thing it doesn’t seem to improve is chocolate-covered bacon. Although it was a tough go getting the goo to stick around the outside of the tenderloins I grilled last night. Maybe it could use some more rubber cement in it?
SBLB: Packets are on their way. Thanks for the idea; just don’t go looking to patent it, my personal ambulance chaser, er, lawyer’s on it already….
The Chile Doctor(Quote)
Tom I savor your posts like a fine glass of wine, yet tonight I am drinking Bush Light. As usual. The Fall River is very fishable right now, but some weather coming in tomorrow.
Punahele(Quote)
Anything is better than Vegemite!
WT Bash(Quote)
This will make it much easier to put bacon on my pancakes… and popcorn…and ice cream. There is a God.
professor(Quote)
We’re just one step away from perfection – the Bacon I.V.
JK Smith(Quote)
I would have thought there’d be some EU regulation against such an abomination. I have the same issue with this as I do with pre-cooked bacon. Bacon, like all meat, is meant to be cooked over fire and consumed while still hot enough to blister the tongue. We should not delegate this ritual to some Swedish bacon-goo maker.
Steve Z(Quote)
Aren’t we overlooking the Obvious Application?
Just a pinch behind each ear, and suddenly, even the most odiferous Undergrounder becomes
WalterWarren Beatty (at least to Canadian women).Tom Chandler(Quote)
Tom,
Did you enlarge the picture to see they sub-title Squeeze Bacon as “American Snack”; are the Char fisherman of Sweden miss-informed? Maybe we should go as a diplomatic “mission” to straighten this out. Can little M stay up for 24 hours…it’l be sunny all day there next month!
Hank Shaw would want to mix this with Lea & Perrins?
See you at the check-out counter…
Jamie(Quote)
I hate it when these things happen…I won’t admit that I was looking to see if they sell it in Redding!
Squeez Bacon
Online retailer thinkgeek.com unveiled Squeez Bacon, 100% bacon paste that could be squeezed from a tube. It described it as “the world’s most perfect food.”
Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon! You can put it on sandwiches, pizza, pastas, bacon, soups, pies, eat it hot or cold (warm Squeez Bacon® on toasted rye is to die for), substitute it for bacon in your recipes, or even eat it right out of the tube like we do! If it’s edible, it’s better with Squeez Bacon®.
Categories: Food and Drink, Businesses, United States, 2009, Fictitious Products, Internet. [Permalink]
Jamie(Quote)
Dang. Like the digital film backs for old film cameras, looks like I’ve been bamboozled.
Both times with products the world desperately needs.
Tom Chandler(Quote)
Or even Warren Beatty. Again, for Canadians.
Steve Z(Quote)
Or Ned Beatty for rednecks. “Squeal like a pig”.
Sully(Quote)