Ask any fly fisherman what he truly wants – what he or she dreams about when it’s dark and the house is quiet and they’ve been drinking – and they’ll say the following:

A weeklong bonefish trip in the Bahamas with the cast of the last Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue who has just lost their luggage The ability to cook fish in their dishwasher:

Will It Dishwasher? – Orange County Restaurants and Dining – Stick a Fork In It

Dishwasher catfish came into existence after I’d been fishing in the mighty Mississippi in the muddy island flats near where Minnesota, Wisconsin and Iowa meet. I’d caught a couple of small catfish (not the monster “grandma” catfish that can gnaw your arm off) and when I got home I discovered the stove was broken. Couldn’t get it to work. I was hungry, and there’s not a lot of options for food purchase after 9 p.m. in rural Iowa. I debated going begging for food at the neighbor’s house, but then my eyes lit on the dishwasher and the roll of foil I’d just bought at Fareway. Maybe… just maybe.

The author goes on to offer recommendations on what cooks and what doesn’t (catfish & Brussels Sprouts = yes, potatoes = no), and frankly, we’re staggered by the implications.

OK, really we’re not.

After all, fly fishing’s landscape isn’t littered with dishwashers (well, maybe in parts of the rural South), and while cooking fish in a dishwasher offers some serious stunt potential, it’s hard to imagine the result would be better than cooking fish on a grill, in a cast iron pan, or – yes – on an automobile engine (which frankly excites the hell out of us).

Pop a couple burgers under the hood, drive to that small stream meadow apparently only you know about, voila – instant picnic.

Sure, we could offer you useful, fish-catching advice like the Ten Best Techniques for Crimping Split Shot, but damnit, we prefer to feed your soul and your stomach.

See you in the kitchen, Tom Chandler.

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