There’s no way to sugarcoat this: The fly tying yarn fetishes in evidence on a few blog sites are frankly – and we mean this in the nicest possible way – scaring the living shit out of us.
Sure, a yarn fetish looks harmless here. But...
I’m seeing references to dozens of 200 yard+ skeins of yarn being tossed about, with a couple sites (unfortunately led by the Underground’s own Singlebarbed) hoarding yarn the way normal human beings hoard duct tape and ammo during flu scares.
And I’m saddened to report that the Underground’s Crack Investigative Reporting Team (who recently broke the Putlitzer-lock story of brown trout falling from the sky) managed to secure this frightening photograph of several yarn-obsessed Brownliners after an all-night tying session (sensitive readers and small children may want to look away):
Obsession's never pretty, my Underground friends - especially when yarn's involved.
Oh the humanity.
A study of the phenomenom suggests it starts simply; some “friend” offers another friend a “free” taste of a new yarn – maybe nothing more than a yard or two.
Soon, the poor fly tyer finds himself speed surfing the Internet for unusual materials, and then – in the actual words of one of the addicts himself – the obsession turns ugly and violent:
“I don’t buy the “gave me some” angle, most likely he stapled her knitting hand, and while coworkers applied bandages, rifled her possessions and grabbed it.”
Join me in helping to wipe out this scourge of the fly tying ranks by writing “I want to help: Save the Fly Tyers!” on a $20 bill and sending it to me immediately.
Together we can make a difference, perhaps even returning these sadly obsessed fly tyers to fully functioning human beings. But only if you act today.
See you making a difference, Tom Chandler.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow. How did you manage to nab a sasquatch and a wookie with your lens? You got skillz TC. the roughfisher(Quote)
Can’t deface money….don’t you know its a federal offense? Kara(Quote)
That’s a pretty nice Kingfisher Blue … kbarton10(Quote)
You’re right. Better make it a $50 bill.
As if we needed more proof of the disease (though it’s clearly an aqua-tinted Deep Robin’s Egg blue, any idiot could see that). Tom Chandler(Quote)
Those photos are way beyond disturbing. SMJ(Quote)
The one on the left looks like a combo of yarn and the RoughFishers Fuzzy Navel Dubbing blend….just sayin’
Def. Robin’s Egg Blue, although he looks more like a pale Cookie Monster. Benjamin Rioux(Quote)
Looks like the big guy from Monsters Inc. Fat Guy Alex(Quote)
All joking aside – that has got to be the cosiest thing I have ever seen – could hibernate in that! Urbanflyfisher(Quote)
I will not be sending any money because frankly, I don’t want these people reintroduced to society.
Maybe give them a big hook to hold onto and use them a shark fly? Gerry C(Quote)
I’m feeling pretty scared right now. What if there are more of them? Smarter and Better Looking Brother(Quote)
OK, what if I promise to do nothing with the money you send? Would you send then?
It’s a wild and woolly thread, that’s for sure. Tom Chandler(Quote)