It’s been a quiet day. The L&T and I gathered up Todd - family member and fly fisher - and ran uplake for a couple hours of smallmouth fishing.
We were interested in little more than knocking some of the dust off the gear, and - just like the guides suggested - we caught little smallmouth bass pretty much everywhere we went.
It wasn’t high drama, but it was damned fun.
Later, I snorkled around the dock and boathouse, shadowed by an 11″ smallmouth who clearly didn’t want any pasty white mammal competing for his territory (smallies are agressive).
Luckily, I survived my Brush with Jaws, only to face a larger jeopardy.
Tomorrow is a ostensibly a “big” fishing day - guides have been engaged and gear is being readied - but in truth, much of the drama there revolves around the traditional shore lunch.
Some think of the traditional shore lunch as a social event; something echoing back to a simpler time when even people who were fishing for real had time to relax and socialize a little in the middle of the day.
I know better.
The simple truth is this: the guides know that stuffing clients full of steak, potatoes and piece results in people too sleepy to fish.
Thus, the day ends early, and the tip is preserved.
Of course, having uncovered the Secret of the Guide Lunch, my life is jeopardy.
The Traditional Maine Guide Mafia - desperate to preserve their ugly little secret - would do almost anything to prevent the sprea
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Tom…Tom? Did they getcha? Did you at least get to eat the steak first?
I get one waterspray picture, and we’re eating already?
Let’s just say I dodged ‘em this time.
Tonight it was chicken and iron-skillet cornbread cooked over an open fire (and pie, lots of pie).
Tomorrow it’s steak at the shore lunch (and pie, lots of pie). I expect to live through tomorrow.
kbarton: What, you want a hero shot with an 11″ smallmouth?
Ummmm, as a confirmed pie man myself, I’d like to hear more about the pie. What kind was it? Who baked it? The L&TN? She made a pumpkin pie (not a pumpkin pie fan) that even I like. Really, let’s hear more about the pie - the pie you already ate and tomorrow’s pie. Did I mention I like pie?
Did somebody say Pie!
A Sports Secret Revealed;
Tom you need a good defense against the old Guides Lunch Trick …This has worked for me…As soon as you are finished with Lunch, when the guide is cleaning up, stick your finger in your mouth and vomite…The guide will instantly go in panic mode..Tell him you are OK, must have been something you ate…For the rest of the day he will work harder than any other guide you have hired….So not to waste the pie, I suggest placing it in your pocket when he isnt looking, and slowly nibble away during the day (NOTE: DONT LET GUIDE SEE BLUEBERRY ON THE SIDES OF YOUR MOUTH)..Yes it stains those nice Patagonia fishing pants of yours, but isnt a handful of 5 pound smallies worth a stain or two….
And all along we thought you went there for the fishing! Now the truth is revealed-it’s the pie!
Can we at least get some pictures? (of the pie)
This is kind of the opposite of what is known as ‘uncle guiding’: A group of brash young bucks hires an older guide. The youngsters are full of piss and vinegar and ready to show the trout world that they are to be reckoned with. The guide, intuitive and wise, recognizes this and proceeds to guide these youngsters through one of the longest, most grueling days of their lives, until they scream, “Uncle!” Being the pictures of obvious, male bravado, they cannot and will not complain to the old man who, despite his advanced age, guides 100-150 days a year and has no problem with a 8-10 hour day on the river.