When you’re young you believe your dad is invincible, and then one day you realize he’s human, and then comes the truly horrible period where you wonder if he’s your dad at all because he’s hopelessly unhip, and then you arrive at the stretch where you finally get to know your father as an adult, which is by far the best part.
After that (usually a lot of years after that) you realize that living through a great depression and surviving front line combat in a terrible war — and then slipping into harness and doing the supremely hard work of feeding and raising a family (and making sure there’s enough for everyone to go to college) means – cape or not – your dad actually did have super powers, and not the flashy comic book kind, but the badass real life variety (though if it ever came down to a contest, he’d kick Superman’s ass every damn time).
Of course, even Superman had a weakness, and my father’s was his heart, and it finally gave out, and he passed away this morning.
When the call comes, you sit down right where you are to a jarring mix of emotions, and you don’t know whether to simply stop breathing and melt into the ground or stand up and shake your fist at the sky, though the sense of someone kicking out a corner of the foundation you’ve built your life on prevents you from doing either.
You know you’ll eventually find some perspective on all this, but at the moment, you realize you can no longer feel the phone against your face.
Rest in peace, Superman. Know that your sons finally came to understand what you were and what you did, and that we loved you for it.
William Chandler, 1931-2008
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{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m mighty sorry to hear of your loss, Tom. kbarton10(Quote)
my sympathy to you tom- ed h-(Quote)
I am truly sorry for your loss Tom. I, like you before today, could only imagine the void left from the passing of great men. Especially if that man taught you how to fish.
The river will comfort. Chuck Sams(Quote)
Tom,
Mighty sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and yours.
Guido guido(Quote)
Tom – I am sorry for your loss.
take a break…see you in a few days.
My sympathies to your family. Mike(Quote)
As I cradle my newborn baby daughter I’m suddenly touched by the life of a man I never had the chance know.
From one dad to another, rest in peace William Chandler. Brian Bennett(Quote)
As I cradle my newborn baby daughter I’m suddenly touched by the life of a man I never had the chance to know.
From one dad to another, rest in peace William Chandler. Brian Bennett(Quote)
My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Roger W(Quote)
Very sorry to hear, my condolences and sympathies to you and your family. Touching and appropriate words you used to describe our relationships with our fathers. Ed(Quote)
TC-
I got that phone call 33 years ago. Rocked my world.
You have my heart and my sympathy. See you when you come home.
CC shastacc(Quote)
Very sorry to hear of your loss…I lost my father a few years ago, and he was a similar age – that great generation is slipping into history. ijsouth(Quote)
Sorry to hear about your fathers passing. He lives on in you. Take care of yourself and your family. Loon(Quote)
Thanks Tom. Your words speak for all four of us. He quietly passed on strengths to us that made us who and what we are today. I think his greatest trait was his integrity and that will forever shine in us.
Scott Chandler blueklister(Quote)
That was quite a touching eulogy, Tom. Condolences to you and your family. Smellslikefish(Quote)
Now, in the countless worlds of God your father begins whole new adventures – while your bonds to each other just grow stronger.
Remembering you in prayer,
Reed Reed(Quote)
I’m so sorry for your loss. Please accept my deepest sympathies for you and your family. As a new father, I was especially touched by how eloquently you described your Dad. Fathers like him (and mine) are the ones who show us what it means to be a man. It sounds like he was a tremendous influence on you, and I’m sure his memories, his values, and his ethics will live on with you for years and years to come.
I’m sure the following days will be busy for you. If you can, when the dust settles, try to get out on the water. As I’m sure you know, nothing soothes the soul like flowing water and rising fish.
Take care,
KT Kilgore Trout(Quote)
My condolences Tom Salty(Quote)
Tom,
The wife and I both send our sympathy and want you to know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Your writings stand as a very fitting tribute to your father.
Lee & Larissa Murdock(Quote)
What a beautiful tribute to what must have been a beautiful man.
Prayers with you, Tom. hugh koontz(Quote)
My condolences on your loss. My father (and my mother) are both of that same generation that lived through the depression and the war.
Luckily, I have not yet received that phone call and I only hope that when it does come as it surely will, I am able to handle it as well as you have. Very touching eulogy.
Best wishes
Harry Harry(Quote)
Sorry for you loss. Your family will be in my prayers. You have made me laugh over the past year, get motivated against companies like nestle(I quit drinking bottled water because of what I learned here), and now weep. You father sounds like an amazing man, may he rest in peace.
Bruno Bruno Greco(Quote)
Gosh, Tom, I’m truly sorry for your loss. Yours are powerful sentiments, you expressed them very eloquently, and they resonate with me. Perhaps your dad and mine will now get a chance to cast out a couple of lines together in the river of the afterlife. winehiker(Quote)
Tom,
I never have words for times like this, and there really aren’t any that help. All I can say is, I’m truly sorry for your loss, and I will remember you in my prayers, for whatever that’s worth.
Nathan hawgdaddy(Quote)
That was a very touching eulogy, Tom. My condolences to you and your family. Heddon17(Quote)
Tom
Your dad and mom were our neighbors for a long time, and the best of people. All of the positive adjectives fit your dad … honest, trustworthy, caring, intelligent, informed, appreciative, steady, and one who, with your mom, raised good men. Our youngest daughter was devastated yesterday, when hearing of your dad’s death. Your parents were like an aunt and uncle next door.
God Bless you and your brothers. Alice Pauls(Quote)
My sincere condolences on the loss of your father. Even though my own dad passed away thirty-six years ago, when I was twelve, I still catch myself wanting – needing- to speak with him about the milestones in my life, good or bad. It seems that you were able to resolve the inevitable conflict between a man and his son; for that, you are most fortunate. Take some time for yourself, Tom…. Larry Leake(Quote)
Only one thing makes Big Giant cry…
He will offer Tobacco and Prayers for your Dad to the Great Father, and wishes warmth and love to surround You and your Woman and family. Big Giant of Slate Creek(Quote)
Tom,
You and your family have my sincere condolences.
I lost my father in 1994 and even now it’s a rare day when dad does not enter my thoughts.
I never go fishing without talking to dad and I like to believe he hears me and is smiling.
Don Don(Quote)
Never met the man, “Your Dad”…but from what I read here…
“He’d do to ride the river with”
(single most important statement a Law man can make)…simply means your back is covered, no need to worry.
Heartfelt condolences Tom, to you and your family.
Monty Montana…aka…Stephen Johnson samistopdog(Quote)
Tom,
May I add mine to the sincerely felt condolences here from r your friends.
I lost my own father 3 years ago. He was only in his fifties, but he’s given me the finest inheritance possible – a sense of wonder and a love of the river. Your old man must be looking down with wonder and pride, though, to see what a diverse crowd you’ve already inspired yourself, and I trust you’ll have the chance, before long, to remember him out on the water, where it all makes at least a little more sense.
Best wishes to you and your family.
James Gentleman Jim(Quote)
So sorry to hear Tom. I lost my Dad back in 98′ and even thou I know he fought till the end, he was at peace. The good thing is, I’ll see him again one day! Your in our thoughts and prayers…..
Jim Jim T.(Quote)
Tom,
I am very sorry for your loss. Your father was a great friend of mine and a magnificent mentor since the day he (and your Super Mother) first moved into his latest home. He taught me so much and filled many voids that I had since the loss of my father when I was 3. You and your brothers are sooo blessed to have experienced such a great father. “Superman” indeed.
Fernando Fernando(Quote)
Hey Tom,
We just saw the post about your Dad.
Our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Know that we love you.
Ian & Charity Ian & Charity(Quote)
Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.. Beaverkill(Quote)
Tom-
Sorry to hear about your father. Hang in there.
Touching words you wrote today… Dave N(Quote)
Tom, very sad to read this. Be glad you got to know him as you did. I don’t know you or your Dad, but your words brought tears to my eyes thinking about my Dad.
RIP Superman. Alastair Ingram(Quote)
Tom,
We are sorry to hear of your Dad passing.
Bill and Jean Bill DeSavage(Quote)
You have my deepest sympathies, Tom. fishskicanoe(Quote)
Strong eulogy for a super man.
Condolences to you, your brothers and especially your mother. Sully(Quote)
Tom,
So sorry for your loss. It sounds like your father was a great man.
I’ll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. NickB(Quote)
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. This is the time of year when my brothers and I would take a weekend to fish the Adirondacks with my Dad each year – your post reminded me of how important that time was. Be good to yourselves at this difficult time.
Regards, Steve SAltsh(Quote)
Tom,
I am sorry for your loss.You and your family are in our prayers.
Mike Mike W(Quote)
Tom,
Our thoughts and condolences go out to you and your family. Know that he lives on in you and what he has given you. Be at peace and know that your father is truly free, and his time here well spent.
fishhead fishhead(Quote)
Sorry to hear about your dad. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family. AL flygirl(Quote)
Tom…
My Deepest sympathies. How about a story about your Dad once in a while… we’d all love to read them!
Let the River be your therapist, my friend, and rest
easy.
Mark O Mark Ostrom(Quote)
Tom, I knew your father, and he was a great man. Tell your Mother, and Brothers, as for yourself, and Nancy, Linda and my prays are with you. Call any time.
David & Linda David Roberts(Quote)
Sorry for your loss Tom.
Thoughts and prayers,
Steve Steve Bacon(Quote)
Sorry to hear about your loss. Enjoy the memories you have! oatka(Quote)
God bless you Tom. Clay(Quote)
God bless you Tom. Clay(Quote)