When you’re young you believe your dad is invincible, and then one day you realize he’s human, and then comes the truly horrible period where you wonder if he’s your dad at all because he’s hopelessly unhip, and then you arrive at the stretch where you finally get to know your father as an adult, which is by far the best part.
After that (usually a lot of years after that) you realize that living through a great depression and surviving front line combat in a terrible war — and then slipping into harness and doing the supremely hard work of feeding and raising a family (and making sure there’s enough for everyone to go to college) means – cape or not – your dad actually did have super powers, and not the flashy comic book kind, but the badass real life variety (though if it ever came down to a contest, he’d kick Superman’s ass every damn time).
Of course, even Superman had a weakness, and my father’s was his heart, and it finally gave out, and he passed away this morning.
When the call comes, you sit down right where you are to a jarring mix of emotions, and you don’t know whether to simply stop breathing and melt into the ground or stand up and shake your fist at the sky, though the sense of someone kicking out a corner of the foundation you’ve built your life on prevents you from doing either.
You know you’ll eventually find some perspective on all this, but at the moment, you realize you can no longer feel the phone against your face.
Rest in peace, Superman. Know that your sons finally came to understand what you were and what you did, and that we loved you for it.
William Chandler, 1931-2008
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Rest in Peace William
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I’m very sorry for your loss.
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Tom,
Sorry to read of your loss. I got that same telephone call in April of 1984. Like you, my dad was always my hero and truly the center of my life. Every time I go fishing I’m reminded of him taking me fishing for the first time.
I do know that trout streams have a special healing quality.
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Sorry for your loss, Tom.
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We’re sorry to hear it, Tom…I’m sure your father was proud to have a son capable of writing such a moving eulogy.
May you and your family be given the time and space needed for a proper fairwell.
Peace, Will and Abby
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I know what you’re feeling. I lost my dad, best friend, biking buddy two years ago. The loss is deep, but the sweet memories linger……..
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Tom, sorry about your dad. I’ve been there. It’s never easy. I think somebody said the river will heal.
Regards,
KJ
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Congratulations to your Dad on a life well lived. I am glad he went easily and given his heart and Korea lived long. The baton has been passed. How will you honor him?
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Very sad to hear about your loss Tom. All the best from Scotland.
Mike
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Tom,
So sorry to hear about your father. I hope he had many joys. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Michelle & Val
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Thoughts are with you and yours, Tom. He left a fine writer for a son; I’m sure he went happy in that knowledge.
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Tom,
As I mentioned yesterday, I’m with you through this. My dad’s heart gave out on him too, now 10+ years ago. (Way too early, although he always said he got more years than he expected; he died on the operating table at age 48, and heroic efforts got him back.)
Your dad and mine shared birth years; so I also have a bit of insight into the way they kept stuff, their world views, and their family values.
Let me know how I can help.
Mitch
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Tom,
May he rest in Peace, knowing that you all loved him and will continue his legacy. May God bless you all, and give you the courage at this difficult hour.
Vinai
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You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers Tom.
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Just read this today, sorry for your loss my friend. Keep fishing, casting your line out in the hope’s of a fighting fish.
You’ll learn, through time, that’s what your dad did raising yin’s…
The cycle of life are only passed down traditions. Keep the cycle churnning.
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