Underground Headed to Big City: Attending CalTrout Fundraiser on Friday
By Tom Chandler on May 7, 2008 in Travel, Underground Entertainment
Due to the largesse of a wealthy, anonymous benefactor, the Trout Underground’s Crack Writing Staff (me) and the Stunning L&T Nancy will be looming up the truck and heading to San Francisco for this Friday’s CalTrout Fundraiser:
You could say that San Francisco in general — and high-end Galas in particular — aren’t exactly my natural habitat.
In fact, if natural selection were truly in operation, I’d quickly come to a horrible end in the jaws of a predator better evolved to survive fundraisers, small talk and silent auctions.
Perhaps something like a Cocktail Crocodile.
Fortunately, where I clean up poorly and lack social graces, the L&T shines brightly. Very brightly.
It says a lot about my powers of persuasion that I ended up with dignified, attractive, intelligent woman who moves through these situations like a trout moves through water, and if I stick close enough, I might just survive the evening, eventually returning to the safety of my own natural habitat.
Darwin’s Cocktail Party
Curtis Knight of CalTrout thought I’d do just fine, and allowed as to how I’d do great as long as I kept bidding on auction items, which prompted me to laugh in a bitter, cynical way, wondering how many $10 auction items CalTrout was planning to move.
He made a classic error; just because I married a hot babe and own some nice bamboo fly rods, it doesn’t mean I’ve got any money.
Should any Undergrounders plan to attend, be sure to look me up. (And yes, it’s for a good cause, so drag your butts out there — at the very least, we’ll provide multiple targets for predators, achieving some kind of safety in numbers.)
Simply search for a species who clearly didn’t evolve in the Four Seasons Hotel ecosystem — an environment where people wear neckties every day without knowing it’s wrong.
That’ll be me, likely wearing a sport coat without zingers and shoes without felt soles, scanning the room for predators.
See you at the Galapagos Island Cocktail Party CalTrout Fundraiser, Tom Chandler.
Technorati Tags: caltrout,social darwinism,fish out of water
Kentucky Jim | May 7, 2008 | Reply
It’s OK, though. No doubt they are neckties in extremely bad taste. You know…the ones the department store had to buy to get the ones it wanted.
David Roberts | May 8, 2008 | Reply
Hey TC, I could lend you the tie I soak in the river, and the beads swell up and keep you cool while all the guys are staring at L&T. Have fun and I will let you know how the Caddis are coming along while you are gone.
David
SMJ | May 8, 2008 | Reply
My brother’s employer purchased tickets, so he will be there. The price of admission is a bit too rich for me. Is Singlebarbed going? He strikes me as being the “cocktail party” type.
My understanding is they’ll have an open bar. You’ll do fine.
Tom Chandler | May 8, 2008 | Reply
David: Yes, one has to wonder about a Trout organization that times its fundraiser to coincide with a monster caddis hatch. It’s one strike against them.
SMJ: Singlebarbed would have gone, but then we stumbled on the “No Knuckle Dragging” request on the invitation, and he was eliminated.
It’s a shame that in this great country of ours that such discriminatory practices are still allowed…
Big Giant of Slate Creek | May 8, 2008 | Reply
Ahhhhh, Ye’ll be drivin’ by SLATE CREEK on yer way down eh? About what time Tom if yew don’t mind me askin?…and in exactly what kind of lunchbox— er, uh,
I mean Vehicle will yew be in?
Just curious, Tom, just curious….AND HUNGRY! :—P
Watch out for my City Cousin “Gangsta Giant”! He lives under the new Carquinas Bridge and has his minions collect toll. (”Those that cross the bridge must pay the Toll” Is his moniker)
If you wonder what happened to the old Carquinas bridge he ate it. It took him 6 months but he ate it.
(The Chinese buy his iron rich turds for $2K a ton and send it back as iPods and cheap fly reels for $100K a ton, he’s one RICH GIANT)
I too am very BIG you know…but I prefer FISHERMEN, parboiled and with a hint of thyme and lemon, accompanied by whatever beer was hidden in their wader pockets.
I sure wish I could go to the big trout party!!
mmmmm
damn the shrimp on a cracker I COULD FEAST FOR A MONTH on all those juicy lil’ trout coddlers!
Tom Chandler | May 8, 2008 | Reply
And people wonder why my own readers sometimes frighten me.
Giant: we’re talking the long way to SF. Be nice to visit, but maybe next time.
wayne eng | May 9, 2008 | Reply
Thomas be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. p.s. bring back some dim sum too………e.t.