The Taxman Cometh: Who’s Spending Their Stimulus Money on Toys?
By Tom Chandler on Apr 15, 2008 in Underground Entertainment
It’s Tax Day, and the fact that California’s general fishing season doesn’t open until after your taxes are paid says a lot about this state’s priorities, which The Underground’s Crack Political Staff suggests are all screwed up.
After all, if it’s one thing you need in your hand after you’ve penned that check to your personal friends at the IRS, it’s a fly rod.
Sadly, my readers haven’t yet risen up against the status quo and installed me as Absolute Ruler of the Universe (hint, hint), so don’t expect any fixes soon you lazy slackers.
For many, the current economy isn’t exactly a source of amusement, and when you mix a failing economy with the drunken circus that is an election year, well, weird things happen.
I’m talking, of course, about the “Stimulus” checks that will soon appear in your mailbox. (The Underground would never publicly question the check-writing sanity of a government that’s piling up debt faster than a credit-card equipped princess on Rodeo Drive — especially one that hasn’t yet outlawed the use of torture.)
The question is simple: Who’s buying fly fishing gear with their government payola stimulus check?
And what kind?
Bonus Question for the Fly Fishing Industry: Which greedy intelligent fly rod manufacturer will be the first to offer a special Stimulus Version of their top end fly rods for exactly $600 (neatly relieving the newly flush fly fishermen of a tough decision)?
And yes, it’s this kind of Visionary Marketing Thought that’s kept the Trout Underground just slightly ahead of the fly fishing industry (I’m thinking a minimum of 20 years).
Sadly, a genius like mine is often misunderstood, which is why — like so many other geniuses — I’m doomed to die penniless and wearing a tin foil hat designed to keep radio signals out of my brain.
See you in the soup kitchen stimulus line, Tom Chandler.
[Update: fly tyers might want to skip the fly rod and go with a custom fly tying desk (including built-in revolving tool stands). We’re just saying is all.]
Technorati Tags: fly fishing,tax day,irs,stimulus package,fly rod,absolute ruler of the universe
hawgdaddy | Apr 15, 2008 | Reply
I spent my stimulus check before I even got it. You can see my purchase here if you scroll down past the rod-building update: http://www.tvangler.com/?p=353. Now the stimulus check has to go straight into the bank when I get it. I can be strong enough to do that. I know I can…
hawgdaddy
Grant | Apr 15, 2008 | Reply
I just spent my return last weekend before we had even filed our taxes. I will do what the government has told me and buy a nice American rod to help stimulate the economy by lining some holding companies pockets. Those 10ft 5wt Z-Axis sticks look pretty sweet for nymphing.
fly fish chick | Apr 15, 2008 | Reply
Is it just me or does ‘economic stimulus package’ sound awkwardly dirty?
Tom Chandler | Apr 15, 2008 | Reply
Well, it was conceived by a bunch of congressmen…
ijsouth | Apr 15, 2008 | Reply
I have to say, I was planning on saving most of it..WAS - until I saw what I owe the state of Louisiana (Uncle Pelican, the poor coastal cousin of Uncle Sam). I owe those tinhorn shysters over $600, even though I end up having more withheld in state taxes than federal. That, coupled with gas, the kids’ tuition going up, etc…last year was my year for big fly fishing purchases (three rods, reels, a ton of flies, boots for my oldest daughter, etc)…I guess I was a year too early.
used golf balls | Apr 16, 2008 | Reply
I must say my waders are shot. I need a new reel. I can’t wait :) The biggest bonus is the gas it will buy to get to some decent trout streams.