In what was probably an attempt to find a fly fishing related porn site, Barely Alert Underground Reader SmellsLikeFish recently stumbled on the Uncyclopedia (the content-free encyclopedia and spoof of Wikipedia).
Quickly realizing that the the Trout Underground needed a Primary Information Source exactly like this one — a source both concise and utterly free of the burden of accuracy that limits other encyclopedias — he sent it my way.
He’s getting a freebie of some kind.
From the Uncyclopedia’s entry on fly fishing:
Several people in the past have talked about fly fishing. Several people may even have gone so far as to have listened. These people had never heard about the fish section at the supermarket. However the best way to realize these people were idiots is to spend a tedious four hours standing at the edge of a stinking mass of brown water, hoping for the “big one” which will never come.
The Basics
You may have seen someone trying to fly fish. If you stood and watched, thought it was fun, and you’re under 70, be worried. Fly fishing is easy. you waggle a massive metal thing a few times, a hook with a bit of blue thread on it intended to disguise it as a fly that would only convince a hillbilly that it was such flies into the distance hopefully near some fish where the fish are rising and then you will hook one (breathe deeply) reel it in and then… YOU KILL IT.
There are several ways to kill a fish. One of them is to hit them over the head with a long pole. Another is to break the beast’s neck. I personally prefer, for minimum suffering, drowning the things.
Jammed with useful information, this compendium of useful knowledge even includes an entry about How to Smell a Bit Like a Fish.
The Uncyclopedia — it’s yet another way the Trout Underground is Making Your Life Better, Or At The Very Least, Marginally Worth Living.
No need to thank us (again).
The piece on how to smell like a fish was extraordinarily interesting. However, the author failed to mention the social stigma of smelling like a fish by using paste or spray. I mean, come on, anybody even halfway into fishing looks at a paste or spray application as the equivalent of tanning booth tan, or worse yet, tanning lotion. You can’t righteously smelllikefish unless you’ve rubbed one on you… or at least rolled in it.
No paste for me.
Smellslikefish(Quote)
My personal experiences with fly fishing haven’t been that… brutal. Sure the fish dies, but then again isn’t that the point of that kind of fishing? I’ve sport fished in the past and never really saw the point. Catch and release is so… unfulfilling.
Fly Fishing(Quote)