The Trout Underground Launches Catch.com — The Online Dating Service For Fly Fishermen (Free Book Too)
By Tom Chandler on Nov 30, 2007 in Contest, Underground Entertainment
At the Trout Underground, we call a spade a spade.
So when the Online Dating Task Force at Trout Underground/Man Cave World Headquarters dreams up a surefire winner like Catch.com — a dating service reserved exclusively for fly fishers — we’re not shy about saying it’s sheer genius, baby.
Genius.
And hell, that’s just the tip of the fly rod.
Kissing too many carp in your search for a prince? (Torvald Lekvam photo)
We’re also tooling up Catch&Release.com — a dating service for those unwilling (or unable) to make a lasting commitment.
We’re even idly considering IPrettyMuchHateYou.com — the dating service for resentful trout bums and most steelheaders.
Is This Good, Or What?
If you’ve read this far (and who wouldn’t), you realize we’re not the kind of fly fishers who waste energy brainstorming more realistic anal gills on midge patterns.
No sir. We’re Big Picture types — hard at work improving our wealth position the lot of the single or divorced fly fisher (which seems to be most of them).
And we need your help to do it.
This Is The Audience Participation Part
Clearly, the Underground’s not suffering from a shortage of high-powered intellects, but here at Man Cave Headquarters, we’re largely unwilling to get our hands dirty doing actual work.
So we want the Undergrounders to do it for us.
What do we need? Marketing, baby. We need advertising slogans and headlines.
So far, we’ve come up with improved versions of those mind-numbing Match.com ads, where the happy couple gaze into each other’s eyes and say sappy things.
We figure we’d just rip them off (hell, they look pretty cheap to produce), and so far, we’ve got:
“The second she got her hands on my Trout, I knew she was the one for me.”
“Once he showed me pictures of his great, big Steelhead, I fell in love on the spot.”
“When I saw him expertly gut and clean that stockie, I was basically afraid to say no.”
Genius all, but we need more, and we’re willing to give away yet another copy of Patrick McManus’ new outdoor humor book to get it.
Yes, it’s another valuable prize from the Underground!
Got a killer headline? A better concept? An idea so good, you’ll risk public humiliation to publish it?
If so, fire away, Undergrounders. We’ll give it a week or so, at which time we’ll let Wally the Wonderdog pick a winner (we print the entries, place them on the floor with treats on them, and see which he eats first).
Clearly, the fate of fly fishing’s huddled masses of single people now lies with you. We know you’ll give it the respect it deserves.
Technorati Tags: fly fishing,fishing,online dating,catch.com,trout,steelhead,match.com
kbarton10 | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
I heard the screaming as he tumbled helplessly through the rapids, I knew anyone with three octaves of falsetto was the Metrosexual of my dreams.
kbarton10 | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
Her ripe, petulant lips were an invitation, then she set hook on a trout, and knew I would never kiss her without a facemask.
Megan | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
I want to invest. Is there going to be an IPO? You also need a young (31 is still young, no?), single, female to sit on your board of directors so that it doesn’t get too “dirty-old-man-ish”. Not that you’re old, but judging by the incoming comments, I’m going out to say that the dirty factor is firmly set in motion.
Tom Chandler | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
kbarton: See, I don’t get the second one at all. I mean, I like how it starts, but you lose me there. Think mass market.
Megan: You are correct.
Don | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
I knew she was the one when she asked “is that a trout in your pocket or are you just excited to meet me?”
I was taken aback by all the piercings on her face until she told be she no longer uses a fly box.
Kevin | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
Gosh…where’s the crew from Buster Wants to Fish when you need them… Little Debbie swiss roll and trouser-trout have got to figure into this.
SMJ | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
After reading Ted’s profile on Catch.com, I knew he was just the one I’d been looking for:
“Hi! My name is Ted and I’m a part-time guide/commercial fly tier. I’m currently living in my truck because I blew the rent money on a sweet Phillipson bamboo fly rod. (It was totally worth it!) My favorite meal is a slaw dog and whatever beer is on sale.”
I set Ted up with my husband’s ex-wife, and he’s made her life a living hell ever since. God I hate that bitch.
taku | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
How about “When I saw him tie those tiny flies, i knew he had the manual dexterity I was looking for…” Gonna have to work on some others for that book I think.
Mike | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
“When he told me his equpiment was an 8 1/2 6wt, I knew he was the one for me.”
Curly | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
Right off the bat KBarton kicked the creative legs out from under a strong opening with his image of the fly-vested falsetto guy rolling helplessly down the rapids - inspiring a spastic spraying of my machine with the morning coffee - forcing me to fall back on a minimalist approach to the ad which will basically rely on a billboard-sized graphic (photo): Two fly rods leaning against a lakeside stump (log or picnic bench) dominate the foreground - one, presumably his, a stout, authoritive 9-footer sticking straight up - the other rod, a decidedly more demure outfit is leaning toward the big one almost touching it. In the romantic-hazy background we see a tent (remember the tent?) Between the flyrods and the tent we see the happy couple, their backs to us as they walk hand in hand away from the rods. He is a tall, square-jawed outdoor guy and has a “with it” hairdo, you know the one, looks like the hair was licked
into a cute point sticking up in front. She is a sporty redhead with a fetching bottom in her tight cargo pants. They are looking at one another as if sharing a funny joke. Her free hand, the fingers loosely splayed is almost to her lips in a gesture of feigned embarrasment.
They are on their way to the tent. The simple caption at the bottom reads: “could be you…”
kbarton10 | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
I knew it was love after feeling the jarring impact of her Hodgeman cleats on my ribcage…
“But, Mistress,” I whined …
kbarton10 | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
I’d met occasional women fishing, but when she winked impishly, remarking, “Nothing comes between me and my Seal Dri’s” - I had to get her number.
SMJ | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
kbarton is having way too much fun with this. That, or he really wants the book.
taku | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
Yep, I agree, kbarton has certainly been swept away in the hot flush of the moment - he also might have a bright, bright future working for Match.com, unless Tom matches the offer to keep him on Catch.com….
The Chile Doctor | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
How to “Catch” a Hoax:
Catch.com top level domain for sale
TOP LEVEL DOMAIN FOR SALE
This top level domain is for sale at Sedo or
for the direct non-negotiable sum of $200,000 USD (no exceptions).
Please read Sedo’s appraisal document before making an offer.
Okay, with that said, I know the general state of Tom’s finances. After all, I’ve been to chess tournaments with him! So it’s clear he’s not making a bid for this site; not without a lot of help.
So if all you fish-teasers don’t pitch in, this dream will go the way of all other hashish smoke! So open up those wallets and give until it hurts!
And while you’re at it, the Chile Underground could use the spare change you find under your sofa cushions…
The Chile Doctor (Just doin’ his part)
Turnip Truck Driver | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
“No, no ! you don’t jerk it. There you go, nice slow strips, oh yes, longer ones, lonnnngggger, that’s it, strip, strip stripppppp, yes! Will you marry me?”
KW Morrow | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
From talking on Catch.com before we even met, I already knew that he was a drifter. And he knew that I was a stripper. We’re soul mates. Thank you Catch.com!
KW Morrow | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
Since we met on Catch.com, it really didn’t alarm me that she smelled like fish.
Kevin | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
Skimpy-clad babe in hip waders netting a fish for a balding middle-aged fly fisherman. Caption: “Catch what you really want at catch.com”
Curly | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
This whole thing is obviously a “loaded” and distracting idea - I can’t believe it can possibly last a week or so - already pants-pissing laughing every time I think about some of this stuff and can’t get any real work done.
Kevin | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
Catch.com personal ad:
Fit Canadian nymph looking for a fisherman man-enough to probe my ice.
[IMG]http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa108/kmckiou/canadianflag.jpg[/IMG]
(thanks to BWTF for image)
Kevin | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
Catch.com personal ad:
Outdoorsie lady enjoys fun in the sun. Looking for a fly fisherman to play “hook the bandanna” and hide the pickerel”.
http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa108/kmckiou/outdoorchic.jpg
Kevin | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
Catch.com personal ad:
Stunning double-hauler looking for fly fisherman with similar interests. Rigged and ready for action:
http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa108/kmckiou/riggedandready.jpg
Curly | Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
Note to Catch.com Complaint Department:
“He never took me anywhere. And he promised he’d take me fishing if I’d do those disgusting things he wanted me to do. And believe me, the things I did for that man, well, I just can’t believe it was really me. And on the weekend we were supposed to go fishing he called and said he had to work, and then I found out he lied, and he’d bought a new rod and snuck off to the Klamath for the weekend with his donkey buddies.”
Kevin | Dec 2, 2007 | Reply
OK. Two more ideas for Catch.com ads. This stupid thing has gotten in my head and now I can’t ignore it.
Ad 1:
Cute fly fishing babe has a hook into the vest of an overweight middle aged fly fisherman. Caption: “Catch a big one on Catch.com”
Ad 2 (inverse):
Dorky fly fisherman with fly hooked in the back of the bikini top of a babe in waders. Caption: “Catch a trophy on Catch.com”
Curly | Dec 2, 2007 | Reply
Catch. com ad:
Guy who looks like Dick Cheney is opening the tent flap for an awesome babe who is looking back with a lascivious wink. She looks like Cher.
caption reads: “JOIN THE FUN!!” Catch.com!
KW Morrow | Dec 3, 2007 | Reply
I’ve tried all of the dating sites and clubs. And it’s almost impossible to get a date when your occupation says “trout bum.” Well, not anymore. Thank you, Catch.com!
Smellslikefish | Dec 3, 2007 | Reply
Good Lord! Do these people actually fish the Upper Sac?! Makes me cringe getting to know the type I may run into…
Smithhammer | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
I met my hot little coho, dressed in nothing but her esox with a bass to die for, on http://www.catch.com!!
Tom Chandler | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
I hardly know where to start, though I tend to favor Smellslikefish in this one (fear).
There are a lot of angles — everything from the classic double-entendre to Curly’s facsimile complaint.
I would caution all posters to remember that the Trout Underground’s Dear Sweet Mother reads this blog, and to write accordingly.
Curly | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
(Your mom’s reading this?…sheesh)
I’m sorry Mrs. Chandler.
My mom would kill me if she knew.
Kevin | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
Tommmmmm… When you lead off with
“The second she got her hands on my Trout…”
and
“Once he showed me pictures of his great, big Steelhead…”
The game is on. Don’t think Mom doesn’t know about those “fishing” magazines under your mattress in 7th grade. She probably still chuckles about them and other indiscretions, but she is still proud of you. On the other hand, she might wish you attracted a higher class group of friends.
Tom Chandler | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
Well, mom did raise four boys, so it’s not as if she’s shocked by much anymore.
As for my headlines, those are wholly innocent and aimed completely at the fly fisher. I swear it.
Curly | Dec 5, 2007 | Reply
Once you throw truth out the window the rest is a piece of cake.
Turnip Truck Driver | Dec 5, 2007 | Reply
Your Mom, eh……………..so, tell me how well she casts and how does she look wrapped in gore-tex? Oh, and the size of her Social Security check is a factor, too.
Alas, I too got caught with those under-matress fly fishing magazines. Everything was okay until Mom saw the articles in “Slippery When Wet.” She kept me off of the river for two weeks when she read, “Spawning Before the Redds” and “Confessions of a Brown Trout With a Big Beak.”
Curly | Dec 5, 2007 | Reply
Yeah and how about the crazy “SEX IN A TENT” book?…and the suggestive blow-up-doll parts “floatation devise”?…and all the other naughty stuff?…Haven’t been reading this blog very long and I’ve already seen plenty…