Another Reason (Besides Fly Fishing) to Visit the Backcountry: Sex in a Tent
By Tom Chandler on Oct 21, 2007 in Underground Entertainment
Once again, the Trout Underground leaves no rock unturned in our search for ways to boost traffic make your life better — in this case by dusting the rugged, wild, dirty backcountry with a hint of… sex….
The Best Hike blog touches on this randy new territory with a post about a probably overhyped book called “Sex in a Tent: A Wild Couple’s Guide to Getting Naughty in Nature.”
Subtle book cover, eh?
And to think my forays into the backcountry were foolishly aimed at catching trout and experiencing the world as it was a few centuries ago. What the hell was I thinking??
It’s not about communing with nature — it’s about getting it on in a place where a pissed-off bear could basically kill both of you because he hasn’t had sex since that one time last spring (and who could blame him).
From the book publisher’s press release:
Sex in a Tent is a new book that tells you everything you need to know (but were too embarrassed to ask) about thoroughly enjoying the outdoors with a romantic partner. Sex in a Tent is a mostly fun, sometimes serious guide to love, sex, and adventure in the great outdoors. In this penetrating look at what really goes on behind the tent flap [ed: yup — they said “penetrating.” Subtle, eh?], expert camper and outdoor love-maker Michelle Waitzman reveals everything you need to know to fulfill your wild fantasies.
Showing you the best positions for campers (the tent tango), to recipes for a romantic meal in a Ziploc bag, to how to look and feel sexy when you’re wearing grimy zip-off hiking shorts and haven’t bathed in days (hint: zip em off and go skinny-dipping), she inspires you to leave behind the boring bed sheets and crawl into a tantalizing tent.
And here I thought “the tent tango” was that part where you tried to wriggle out of your soaked waders and into your sub-zero sleeping bag while trapped in your coffin-sized tent because the rain was absolutely pouring down outside.
Boy, did I have it wrong. (It’s not the first time.)
Lately, there’s been much hand-wringing in the fly fishing industry about declining participation, and all along, the answer was staring right at us — sex.
Accordingly, I’m starting right to work on my new book, “Sex in Waders: A Wild Couple’s Guide to Getting It On Even Though You’re Absolutely Exhausted And Sweating Like a Pig From Fishing All Day And You Couldn’t Look Less Sexy Because You’re Basically Wearing Rubber Pants.”
I already smell the New York Times best-seller list. Can’t miss.
Technorati Tags: sex, sex in a tent, shameless traffic grab
C3C Raine | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
I’m calling bullshit! Have you seen this gal’s pic…I don’t buy it! Google image Michelle Waitzman and it’s the first picture…’experienced outdoor love-maker’ I think not…
Tom Chandler | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
You don’t gotta be Heidi Klum to have sex…
kbarton10 | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
Yep, I get amorous as hell after hiking 8 or 9 miles in 90 degree temps, fish like a madman in rubber waders until black dark, then burn all your fingers making a romantic dinner of Mac N’ Cheese, accented tastefully with Trailmix.
There’s nothing like a romantic boudoir with lumpy pine cones and a bedroll whose zipper is stuck.
I know my partner wants me bad, that distilled “maleness” odor, enhanced by the waders is like Catnip to a female hiker…
That rare gal that is brave enough to assault the woods, legs like steel wool, whose armpits you can’t tell from your own.
This sounds like “Glam-per” trash, any self respecting fisherman would mount a Porcupine if it was holding a fly rod - who needs self help books?
C3C Raine | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
I wasn’t just talking about looks, she’s a dwarf!
Tom Chandler | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
I myself must applaud the author for including such a lifelike illustration on the cover of her book — the Rockwell-esque picture of a Barbie-shaped woman in an outfit a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model wouldn’t wear.
Where are her bug bites? Where are the clouds of mosquitoes? Where is the sunburn?
samistopdog | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
Hey Cahndler …how come you are hiding this book from everyone? Why did Dave win such boring, mundane stuff about fly fishing?
Tom Chandler | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
Samis: Sadly, I don’t own a copy of this book, and haven’t received one for review. Otherwise, I’d share the deep, dark secrets of “The Tent Tango” with you.
Ghigau | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
Oh, thank GOD! There’s no way I could ever have figured out how to have sex in a tent or outdoors without instructions!
Alistair | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
There is nothing like reading an instruction book to find out you have been doing it wrong all along….
Tom Chandler | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
Sex In a Tent: In. out. Repeat.
Alistair | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
You romantic devil you! I bet you were always a big hit with the ladeeez!
Alistair
Tom Chandler | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
Alistair: Is that any way to treat a guy who just saved you $15.95 on a book?
frogmorton | Oct 24, 2007 | Reply
Titillating reading but the book needs a chapter on how to avoid the wet spot in a sleeping bag.
samistopdog | Oct 24, 2007 | Reply
Geeze Froggy…that’s a no brainer …stay the hell out of the creek,that’s for the fish.
It also helps if your labrador retriever shakes off outside after a dip in the fishin’ hole.
also one tow winnie martunies could cause a wet spot.
hope this helps
samistopdog