April 2007

It’s no secret that I love the UK fly fishing bloggers. Madly funny, and less caught up in the self-importance plaguing some of fly fishing’s leading lights, their approach simply amuses the hell out of me.

Alistair from the Urban Angler recounts a moment that would not make most fly fishing blogs, and then hilariously recounts all the horrific possibilities growing from his encounter with a Dead Sheep:

When we were out fishing the other day Steven stumbled upon a dead sheep. Well, when I say stumbled I mean he was fishing away happily and noticed a funny smell - a rotting sheep was amongst some reeds on the bank. We all had a good look at it through our trusty monocular (boy are we glad they came in useful) and pondered the sheep’s fate and the possible mishaps that led it to be a woolly carcass at the side of the river.

He follows his report with a list of the “horrors” that might grow from a dead sheep experience, like falling face first into the carcass, or hooking it by accident and setting it drifting down towards you…

Cranky Guides, Inc:

Randall Sumner is a guide and self-described Trout Bum on the Yakima. I’m always leery of people who attach phrases like “trout bum” to themselves, but that’s just a pet peeve.

In his most recent column. Sumner launches a ballistic verbal strike against those who think fly fishing is a snazzy, big fish destination instead of a journey supplying its own rewards:

The fly-fishing world is approaching this kind of jazzed-up consumer nightmare. It’s as if now you can just purchase at a fly shop the kind of skill and instinct it takes to become a fishing god. Or rent some space on a pay-for-play lake and catch some huge genetically-engineered pig; “Step right up, get your picture taken with a fish too stupid to know the difference between living and dying.”

This fly-fishing game is one you have to earn; you can’t buy game.

Interesting stuff from a guide (and I suspect he’s enjoyed a bit of a tough run of customers this spring), but true — even if so many guides and outfitters are marketing little more than big, dumb fish.

Streaming Outdoor Videos

I’m not a huge fan of most fly fishing videos (except the funny ones where fish attack anglers who lose their waders trying to get out of the water).

The Fishing Jones blog lists a few online sources for fishing videos, including the new “Hook.tv” fly fishing video source.

With YouTube selling for billions, one wonders why I’m bothering to generate actual written content for pennies, but as I outlined here, I have a few problems with most fly fishing TV shows, and wonder why hook.tv would be any different.

Actually Amusing Fishing Fodder

MidCurrent stumbles across an interesting story about Ed Zern, an actual fly fishing humorist, cartoonist, curmudgeon and lots of other stuff (including advertising copywriter).

Visit it. Read it. Come back to discuss…

While We’re On the Subject of Farm Animals…

This… uhhh… intriguing story (also from the UK) about a US man who snuck into a barn and spray painted some goats orange. Not the whole goat — just the naughty bits that a family blog probably shouldn’t mention.

The culprit also left some pornographic magazines outside the barn.

My usual snarkiness escapes me. I am literally speechless, and hope the Undergrounders might pick up the ball on this one… See you in the UK, Tom Chandler.

[tags]fly fishing, hook.tv, urban angler[/tags]

From the Goat blog at Backcountry.com:

The Cruzin Cooler comes in gas or electric versions and has a top speed of 13mph.

I’m just going to say it; Since I learned of the existence of this wheeled, powered cooler, my life has become painfully empty and barren. I must have one.

Imagine scooting down to the lake, drinking all the cold beer inside, and then filling it with stockies for the trip home.

That’s priceless. If you really wanted to be cool, you could plaster it with decals from major fly fishing brands. That would be cool.

As always, we at the Trout Underground are working every minute of the day to bring new value to your life. No need to thank us.

[tags]fly fishing, cruzin cooler[/tags]

I got a couple e-mails asking about my April Fools prank — apparently some were confused by my utter lack of one.

Ass Hooked Whitey uncorked a good one, and FlyFishMagazine fired off their own prank post.

Why nothing from the Trout Underground? Simple.

This whole blog is a prank. I’m not a handsome outdoorsman from Mount Shasta who spends his days on the Upper Sacramento — I’m really a 13 year-old girl from New York City who thinks fish are icky, drinks Nestle-brand bottled water, and believes those dumb salmon probably deserve to be extinct.

Or a ventriloquism dummy.

Who’s really speaking at the Underground? (photo egroj)

Welcome to the Internet. Now for more weirdness.

Chandler Loves Peanut Butter. Now Scientists Do Too.

I love peanut butter, and wept bitterly when the “low-fat witchhunts” of the late 90s put the gummy stuff in the “do not eat” category.

Still, from time to time I found myself hiding in the pantry, shielding a jar of Peter Pan from view, dipping crackers into its tasty-yet-forbidden contents.

Guess what? Peanut butter’s back!

It turns out the stuff actually helps you live longer: Up Close and Edible: Peanut Butter

March 29, 2007 - Researchers are going nuts for peanut butter. Once reviled as a fat-laden, food no-no, it turns out that the creamy (or crunchy) comfort food can actually reduce your risk of heart disease and diabetes and even keep you from gaining weight.

Forget about fancy gourmet sandwiches on the stream and return to your first love: PB&J…

Casting Lessons

From the “It’s Always April Fools” bunch at Moldy Chum comes this winner of an ad from Japan – proof that women are simply better casters than men.

Note the catch & release gesture at the end. Ahh.

CSI, Fish & Game

The Two-Heel Drive blog turns us onto an LA Times story about California’s anti-poaching scientists, who are using DNA evidence to convict poachers and protect wildlife.

In one 2003 incident in Trinity County, officials were ready to classify the victim as a mountain lion casualty. The man, found partly devoured on an alpine ledge, had supposedly been a hunter. But when Banks examined the scene, he noticed that the dead man was wearing tennis shoes instead of boots and had no backpack for his supplies and ammunition. The body was surrounded by bear and coyote scat, but none from a mountain lion.

Banks recommended an autopsy — and the grateful coroner discovered three bullet holes in the man’s head. The carnage to the body was done by coyotes and bears after his death.

Interesting shit, and let’s hope they keep catching the bad guys.

Flytimes Blog Screws Up, Discloses “Panic Checklist”

The Flytimes blog writes a hilarious post about forgetting a critical piece of equipment on a recent trip, and how he’s developed a mental checklist to deal with those situations.

Arrived at Pass Lake around 3 o’clock yesterday afternoon. As I prepared to launch my boat I saw tens of dozens of empty midge schucks floating at the water’s edge. Then I noticed that there wasn’t a drain plug in my boat. Brilliant.

Fortunately I have lots of experience with situations like this. I’ve even made up a check list.

Definitely worth a read.

Coming Up

I won’t lie. It’s busy over here at Underground World Headquarters, and with the crush of autograph requests and demands for attention from Victoria’s Secret Models Underground Groupies, it’s been hard to crank out all the words.

For example, I’ve got Part III of the Phillipson rod saga still in the works, plus another Nestle installment (lots of news about the Axis of Evil Nestle from around the country).

Then there’s ongonig Klamath River news, a review of a great new book about the late-1800s battle to save Yellowstone’s few remaining buffalo, a review of Trout Bum Diaries II, the unnecessarily hype-ridden buildup to my Tennessee trip, and even the off fishing report.

And oh yeah — I’m looking into changing the Trout Underground’s look and feel (to better take advantage of wider screens).

Somewhere in all that I have to make a living.

Frankly, that part would be a lot easier if you lazy bastards would simply work a little harder, make a few bucks, and send those to the Underground so I could fish more and then write about it.

See, that way we all benefit.

See you on the river, Tom Chandler.

[tags]fly fishing[/tags]

Spring is perhaps the best time of the year to be young and alive (or in my case, middle-aged and still breathing, though shallowly at times), but let’s be blunt; it can get a little capricious.

Saturday I wasn’t exactly surrounded by big fish feeding with abandon, but there was enough trout eating the March Browns that I hooked a couple?

A good day on the water? Or an April Fools setup by trout hungry for revenge?

Uhh, That Second Choice

Chris Raine, Mike Lucia and myself drove to the site of Saturday’s visit, unfortunately finding several cars and at least one guide on the stretch.

Our fallback produced a very light March Brown hatch, a very light BWO hatch, and zero rising fish.

The joke’s on me.

I even fished a Hare’s Ear soft hackle but found no takers.

Right now, nymphing will bring you fish, and I’ve heard news of a couple locals repeatedly pounding the hell out of a large pod of pre-spawn fish (a report that conjures visions of buffalo being shot from trains)

My 8.5′ Phillipson Power-Pakt. Gorgeous, though in need of a little epoxy.

In honor of my ongoing Phillipson Rod company stories (Part I & Part II) I brought a refinished 8.5′ 5wt Phillipson Power-Pakt, a gorgeous rod that casts even better than it looks.

Sadly, I pulled a ferrule while taking it apart (after 60 years, I guess it’s understandable if the glue dries out), but it’s at Chris’ shop right now, and I expect to have it in hand for more adventures real soon.

What’s in store for the Upper Sacramento?

Flows right now are unseasonably low, and in the hatch department, I get a sense of an engine that’s sputtering and chugging, but not quite ready to start.

Forecast is for largely sunny days but temperatures in the low-to-mid 60s, so we’re not going to see a big surge of runoff this week.

Will the hatches take hold? Or will the trout engineer yet another April Fools for anglers?

Stay tuned. See you on the river, Tom Chandler.

[tags]fly fishing, upper sac, upper sacramento river, phillipson[/tags]

I’m dragging together the usual outsized pile of gear for a today’s trip, so my report on Saturday’s outing will be brief.

With clouds dotting the sky, I ran downriver, searching for the March Brown hatch I stumbled on last weekend.

While I found a few — to the tune of four hookups (three to my feet) — the hatch was very light.

The smaller fish are waking up again, with all but one of my fish in the 12″ range.

The sun broke through at the start of the hatch, which didn’t help matters much.

March Brown Comparadun on my Steffen Brothers 8.5′ 5 glass rod.

The March Browns are an enigmatic hatch on the Upper Sac; the river’s often too high to fish it properly in the spring, so we’re all just feeling our way around this thing right now.

The flows are fishable, but don’t be mislead by the sub-1000 cfs number (at the delta).

Our flows are measured at the bottom of the river, so you never quite know if the majority of the water is coming from lower tribs or from the top.

I’d say — given my difficulty in wading a stretch of water I’ve successfully crossed at 1700 cfs in the past — most of it’s coming from the top.

I could write a lot more, but I’d rather go fishing instead. Hope you understand.

See you on the river, Tom Chandler.

[tags]fly fishing, upper sac, upper sacramento river, march browns[/tags]