The Urban Angler Discusses… A Dead Sheep. Other Weirdness Too
By Tom Chandler on Apr 3, 2007 in Underground Entertainment
It’s no secret that I love the UK fly fishing bloggers. Madly funny, and less caught up in the self-importance plaguing some of fly fishing’s leading lights, their approach simply amuses the hell out of me.
Alistair from the Urban Angler recounts a moment that would not make most fly fishing blogs, and then hilariously recounts all the horrific possibilities growing from his encounter with a Dead Sheep:
When we were out fishing the other day Steven stumbled upon a dead sheep. Well, when I say stumbled I mean he was fishing away happily and noticed a funny smell - a rotting sheep was amongst some reeds on the bank. We all had a good look at it through our trusty monocular (boy are we glad they came in useful) and pondered the sheep’s fate and the possible mishaps that led it to be a woolly carcass at the side of the river.
He follows his report with a list of the “horrors” that might grow from a dead sheep experience, like falling face first into the carcass, or hooking it by accident and setting it drifting down towards you…
Cranky Guides, Inc:
Randall Sumner is a guide and self-described Trout Bum on the Yakima. I’m always leery of people who attach phrases like “trout bum” to themselves, but that’s just a pet peeve.
In his most recent column. Sumner launches a ballistic verbal strike against those who think fly fishing is a snazzy, big fish destination instead of a journey supplying its own rewards:
The fly-fishing world is approaching this kind of jazzed-up consumer nightmare. It’s as if now you can just purchase at a fly shop the kind of skill and instinct it takes to become a fishing god. Or rent some space on a pay-for-play lake and catch some huge genetically-engineered pig; “Step right up, get your picture taken with a fish too stupid to know the difference between living and dying.”
This fly-fishing game is one you have to earn; you can’t buy game.
Interesting stuff from a guide (and I suspect he’s enjoyed a bit of a tough run of customers this spring), but true — even if so many guides and outfitters are marketing little more than big, dumb fish.
Streaming Outdoor Videos
I’m not a huge fan of most fly fishing videos (except the funny ones where fish attack anglers who lose their waders trying to get out of the water).
The Fishing Jones blog lists a few online sources for fishing videos, including the new “Hook.tv” fly fishing video source.
With YouTube selling for billions, one wonders why I’m bothering to generate actual written content for pennies, but as I outlined here, I have a few problems with most fly fishing TV shows, and wonder why hook.tv would be any different.
Actually Amusing Fishing Fodder
MidCurrent stumbles across an interesting story about Ed Zern, an actual fly fishing humorist, cartoonist, curmudgeon and lots of other stuff (including advertising copywriter).
Visit it. Read it. Come back to discuss…
While We’re On the Subject of Farm Animals…
This… uhhh… intriguing story (also from the UK) about a US man who snuck into a barn and spray painted some goats orange. Not the whole goat — just the naughty bits that a family blog probably shouldn’t mention.
The culprit also left some pornographic magazines outside the barn.
My usual snarkiness escapes me. I am literally speechless, and hope the Undergrounders might pick up the ball on this one… See you in the UK, Tom Chandler.
Technorati Tags: fly fishing, hook.tv, urban angler
hawgdaddy | Apr 3, 2007 | Reply
I don’t know about picking up the ball, but I have a sudden urge to paint it orange…
forgive the poor taste,
hawgdaddy
Insane | Apr 3, 2007 | Reply
umm……speechless…
No more camping trips with only us two…I can promise that!
kbarton10 | Apr 3, 2007 | Reply
Didn’t you put “two and two” together? This is obviously a serial farm animal genitalia satanist!
Unsatiated by the degradation of the goats, this SOB turned his unwanted attentions onto
that innocent Scottish sheep.
The dead sheep probably fought hard for her virtue - angering the spray paint wielding assailant, who clubbed her senseless.
Have Alistair notify Interpol, quickly!
Clay | Apr 3, 2007 | Reply
That was not paint the goats were merely eating cheetos while viewing said magazines!!! At least that is what my lawyer told me to say. Anyway, Tom I appologize, I sent my flies to you and neglected to add a stamp to the box. Just got it back. I will send it out tomarrow. CHEERS!!!
ethanopia | Apr 3, 2007 | Reply
Your sheep story reminds me of a story that my history teacher in High School was famous for. Ass teen agers in the hot deserts of New Mexico they would find a dead horse out in the sun. Then he and his friends would run towards it to see who could get the closest without barfing. One day a brave soul got too close, tripped up and fell face first into the belly of a rotting corpse! A priceless and permanent testament to the stench of death.
overmywaders | Apr 3, 2007 | Reply
Tom,
In reference to the dead sheep, a few years ago an Aussie (IIRC) writer mentioned the excellent use he found for the bloated carcass of a dead ewe. He was able to drape it so that it hung over a trout stream. A few days later, simply pounding the carcass released an excellent chum into the water. Fishing a few yards downstream with a maggot imitation was very productive. (No comment on the sporting aspects of chumming.)
Having once encountered a bellwether Blackface ewe in the dusk and fog on the narrow track of a Cairngorm mountain, I cannot see any cause for amorous stirrings toward such beasts. They can be desperately-ugly and vicious animals.
Perhaps it wasn’t about sex at all, but simply a crazed and myopic fly-tier, uncertain of anatomy, who was attempting to gather materials for a Tup’s Indispensable? The reading material was an attempt for directions.
Best regards,
overmywaders
Larry Swearingen | Apr 4, 2007 | Reply
“I’m always leery of people who attach phrases like “trout bum” to themselves,” TC
Yass, I much prefer “Trout Hobo” ! A little more
accurate, don’t a think ?
Larry S
Tom Chandler | Apr 4, 2007 | Reply
I’m more of a trout recidivist – a chronic, repeat offender who tries to live a normal life, but can’t.
In fact, the Trout Recidivist was one of the names I considered for the blog, but it was just too damned hard to spell.
As for all the sheep/goat/human theories, common sense (and good taste) require that I refrain from commenting. It’s a small town atmosphere up here…
Tom Chandler | Apr 4, 2007 | Reply
THIS JUST IN: MORE LIVESTOCK PAINTING IN ENGLAND.
When will it end??
Clay | Apr 4, 2007 | Reply
OH THE HORROR!!! And I swear I was nowhere near England this time.
Jim Webb | Apr 4, 2007 | Reply
Everybody talks about the sheep. Interesting. As for Ed Zern, I learned how to read by reading his “Exit Laughing” column with every Field & Stream I could get my hands on. I recall that, as a boy, I always enjoyed his column. Stopped reading F & S as I grew older, found girls, and other stuff. There’s years of funny stuff I have to catch up on, now that I’m entering my second childhood. Too bad more fly fishers don’t have his wonderful sense of humor. It’s late; I didn’t read the whole article. I’ll go back to it, and see if I can find a collection of his essays. Great guy!