Monday Morning Weirdness at the Trout Underground

I got a couple e-mails asking about my April Fools prank — apparently some were confused by my utter lack of one.

Ass Hooked Whitey uncorked a good one, and FlyFishMagazine fired off their own prank post.

Why nothing from the Trout Underground? Simple.

This whole blog is a prank. I’m not a handsome outdoorsman from Mount Shasta who spends his days on the Upper Sacramento — I’m really a 13 year-old girl from New York City who thinks fish are icky, drinks Nestle-brand bottled water, and believes those dumb salmon probably deserve to be extinct.

Or a ventriloquism dummy.

Who’s really speaking at the Underground? (photo egroj)

Welcome to the Internet. Now for more weirdness.

Chandler Loves Peanut Butter. Now Scientists Do Too.

I love peanut butter, and wept bitterly when the “low-fat witchhunts” of the late 90s put the gummy stuff in the “do not eat” category.

Still, from time to time I found myself hiding in the pantry, shielding a jar of Peter Pan from view, dipping crackers into its tasty-yet-forbidden contents.

Guess what? Peanut butter’s back!

It turns out the stuff actually helps you live longer: Up Close and Edible: Peanut Butter

March 29, 2007 – Researchers are going nuts for peanut butter. Once reviled as a fat-laden, food no-no, it turns out that the creamy (or crunchy) comfort food can actually reduce your risk of heart disease and diabetes and even keep you from gaining weight.

Forget about fancy gourmet sandwiches on the stream and return to your first love: PB&J…

Casting Lessons

From the “It’s Always April Fools” bunch at Moldy Chum comes this winner of an ad from Japan – proof that women are simply better casters than men.

Note the catch & release gesture at the end. Ahh.

CSI, Fish & Game

The Two-Heel Drive blog turns us onto an LA Times story about California’s anti-poaching scientists, who are using DNA evidence to convict poachers and protect wildlife.

In one 2003 incident in Trinity County, officials were ready to classify the victim as a mountain lion casualty. The man, found partly devoured on an alpine ledge, had supposedly been a hunter. But when Banks examined the scene, he noticed that the dead man was wearing tennis shoes instead of boots and had no backpack for his supplies and ammunition. The body was surrounded by bear and coyote scat, but none from a mountain lion.

Banks recommended an autopsy — and the grateful coroner discovered three bullet holes in the man’s head. The carnage to the body was done by coyotes and bears after his death.

Interesting shit, and let’s hope they keep catching the bad guys.

Flytimes Blog Screws Up, Discloses “Panic Checklist”

The Flytimes blog writes a hilarious post about forgetting a critical piece of equipment on a recent trip, and how he’s developed a mental checklist to deal with those situations.

Arrived at Pass Lake around 3 o’clock yesterday afternoon. As I prepared to launch my boat I saw tens of dozens of empty midge schucks floating at the water’s edge. Then I noticed that there wasn’t a drain plug in my boat. Brilliant.

Fortunately I have lots of experience with situations like this. I’ve even made up a check list.

Definitely worth a read.

Coming Up

I won’t lie. It’s busy over here at Underground World Headquarters, and with the crush of autograph requests and demands for attention from Victoria’s Secret Models Underground Groupies, it’s been hard to crank out all the words.

For example, I’ve got Part III of the Phillipson rod saga still in the works, plus another Nestle installment (lots of news about the Axis of Evil Nestle from around the country).

Then there’s ongonig Klamath River news, a review of a great new book about the late-1800s battle to save Yellowstone’s few remaining buffalo, a review of Trout Bum Diaries II, the unnecessarily hype-ridden buildup to my Tennessee trip, and even the off fishing report.

And oh yeah — I’m looking into changing the Trout Underground’s look and feel (to better take advantage of wider screens).

Somewhere in all that I have to make a living.

Frankly, that part would be a lot easier if you lazy bastards would simply work a little harder, make a few bucks, and send those to the Underground so I could fish more and then write about it.

See, that way we all benefit.

See you on the river, Tom Chandler.

[tags]fly fishing[/tags]