The Contemplative Angler Goes to the (Non-Linear) Ducks
By Tom Chandler on Mar 1, 2007 in Underground Entertainment
The Contemplative Angler continues to explore some of fly fishing’s more exotic implications - this one an ode to the perils of non-linear thinking.
Consistently one of the best blogs at not taking himself seriously (you won’t find a lot of pissed-off-at-Nestle posts there), it’s worth a read.
His most current post includes a paragraph about the Orvis Zero Gravity rod - one of which will shortly be reviewed here on the Underground:
A new Orvis “Zero Gravity” fly rod is on my list wish for Ayyam-i-Ha. My mind is reeling at the implications of a fly rod formed in the core of a planet; for, as we know, the gravitational force is zero everywhere within a hollow spherically symmetrical planet. And this new rod is not merely weightless but is without a gravitational force of its own. Thus, with no internal gravity, it should reduce itself immediately to its component “strange quarks”, “charmed quarks”, and other subatomic particles — but the manufacturer doesn’t mention this in his advertizing. Therefore, we reason, this fly rod is a trans-dimensional element of untold capabilities — least of which will be its ability to cast. Some minds, the boggly kind, boggle at the thought.
Read it all at: Of Ducks and Men - The Contemplative Angler
Technorati Tags: fly fishing, contemplative angler, orvis, zero gravity
kbarton10 | Mar 1, 2007 | Reply
THe “Zero Gravity” rod should be avoided at all costs. I served on this project briefly while in Manchester last year…
“Zero Gravity” was a play on words that Rumsfeld used (the Defense Department having paid for the research during the “black” phase of the project).
The author is correct, as once removed from its protective case, the rod will spontaneously render itself into subatomic particles. Think nuclear FISSION spontaneous, not some orderly process that Orvis describes.
The Zero Gravity line was supposed to be a single travel rod ( 5 piece ) that could be smuggled into a hostile capital via embassy courier, and detonated.
Under similar patent, Orvis is working on its “LiteLine” and “Insurgent” models - designed for smaller issues, like a Sunni Mosque, or a Nestle plant.
Tom Chandler | Mar 1, 2007 | Reply
Oddly enough, my Zero Gravity rod didn’t go critical when I removed it from its case, though that might have something to do with the strong dampening field my body generates.
At least I think it does: it’s had that same dampening effect on women my whole life.