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Today’s Find: The Trout Worship/Bad Poetry Page

 Bad poetry about trout? Frankly, I can’t think of anything better. Consider this gem (probably written by Claude Freaner):

Trout

To think that I shall never shout
A poem lovely as a trout.

A trout whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the creek’s sweet flowing crest;

A trout that looks at God all day,
And lifts her pearly fins to pray;

A trout that may in Winter sleep
With nests of nymphs down in the deep;

Upon whose side the stripe is red,
And pearl-green cheeks about the head.

Small trout are caught by folks like me,
While bad poems are read by thee.

—— (With apologies to Joyce Kilmer)

Still smiling? Enjoy other bad trout poems at: Trout Worship

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12 Comment(s)

  1. Jim Webb | Jan 26, 2007 | Reply

    I’m currently reading “Trout Bum” by John Gierach. The writing is significantly better than above, and is worth a read. I highly recommend it to those of you who have not already read it. Poetry, prose, essays on the trout, whatever you want to call it, it’s all the same. An akward attempt to re-create what we all love to do when we are not doing it. Well, there may be some story telling in there too, but that is a separate department.

  2. clay | Jan 29, 2007 | Reply

    How about we all have “Trout Haiku” contest???

  3. Jim Webb | Jan 29, 2007 | Reply

    That would be great, but I don’t know how to smoke one.

  4. Tom Chandler | Jan 30, 2007 | Reply

    Haiku contest? Interesting.

  5. clay | Feb 1, 2007 | Reply

    OK underground since I brought it up I will start it. This one is dedicated to Jim Webb and his addiction.

    Bamboo in my hand
    Creditors coming for me
    Better go fishing

  6. Jim Webb | Feb 1, 2007 | Reply

    Amazing how the creditors never call you when you’re streamside. Is this a Haiku?

  7. Tom Chandler | Feb 1, 2007 | Reply

    Haiku is an extremely complex form of short poetry, Japanese in origin.

    While people debate the different formats, for the purposes of drunken, scruffy fly fishers, we’ll define it as three phrases (lines) in a 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

    (First line has 5 syllables, second 7, last 5)

    Here’s one that Sage probably won’t appreciate:

    Tailing loops flying
    No help from high tech fly rod
    Leader knots and weeps

  8. Clay | Feb 5, 2007 | Reply

    Excellent Tom, isn’t that better than landing an 18″ wild brook trout?

  9. Tom Chandler | Feb 5, 2007 | Reply

    No. Not even close… 8-)

  10. Sully | Feb 6, 2007 | Reply

    Clouds of black spinners:
    Best hatch on the Mighty Mo.
    Who’s that in my spot?

    Dorsal fins showing,
    On alert in thin water.
    Line flash and they’re gone.

    Pick a new Trico,
    Fresh fly for a picky fish.
    He turned up and ate!

    Seven-x tippet.
    Your lousy improved clinch knot,
    Pig-tailed on the strike.

    Small dries on the flats.
    The joy of the difficult.
    Like haiku but wet.

    You started it.

  11. todd harper | Feb 16, 2008 | Reply

    Cool stuff.

    Besides my trout addiction, I torture ( teach) 4th graders.and composer music.
    Here is one I am setting>
    by the way… ditch the 5-7-5 thing…. We aren’t ( don’t think) classical japanese speakers, so go for the essence. Apoet friend said ” first l ine… situation.. 2nd line. action, 3rd line, surprise)

    Here goes

    If i
    don’t fish for trout
    every day this spring
    i will die.

    tight lines

  12. Bastard Mike | Feb 17, 2008 | Reply

    Morning beer flows free.
    Planing cane, I have to pee.
    No one cares but me.

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