Hugh Koontz writes fishing columns for the Shelbyville Star newspaper, and in the past he’s been panned for including horrifically overblown metaphors into his columns. I published them, and much hilarity ensued.
Just recently I checked back with our metaphorically hyper-charged friend and it looks like Hugh has cleaned up his act. Minus the hyperbole, his columns are quite readable and interesting.
So in the interest of fair play, I present the latest Hugh Koontz column, which skirts (but never crosses) the line of wholly overblown metaphor with this line:
A breeze brushed my face soft as a baby’s sigh,
That’s relatively mild stuff for Hugh, and the rest is a good read for us.
[tags]koontz, shelbyville, north carolina[/tags]






{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you Tom. Good stuff.
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TC. I have been a fan of Koontzisms for quite some time and have noticed that he is getting away from his previous glory. Here is one of my favorites from back in Feb. of 2006
“When I got to the water the sky was a perfect blue with whiskers of white clouds around the edges, lurking like dog’s hair swept to the side.”
Hair O’ the dog that bit me!
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Koontzisms have hopefully run their course, but may still return. My favorite remains the classic:
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That’s my dad! Mr. Simile.
HUGH IV
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I’ll have to search my copies of old columns from dad’s pretrout days to see the evolution of the Koontzisms.
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Koontz Jr! Indeed, we are in the genetic presence of metaphorical greatness. Or something like that.
I’m afraid I’ve been somewhat lax in tracking Hugh III’s latest works, having been intent on creating my own.
My previous check didn’t reveal an RSS feed, but shazam! — there’s one now. I’m subscribed, baby. Hugh’s back, and we’ve got him.
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Be nice to my roommate, fellas… he’s trying to paint a mental picture for non-trouties (like me) in the Shelby Star’s readership. I’m sure he’d lay off the metaphors for all you trouties out there if you were his only audience. And, let’s face it, his press awards prove that his Koontzisms are appreciated. At any rate, thanks for reading his columns. I’m sure he’ll be glad to know there are people who care out there (even if your criticisms of him are like wisps of smoke over a fire loaded with fish… perhaps it’s contagious! Haha) :)
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It is nice to see my old buddy still has his chops. I caught up with him awhile back and have followed his trout colums. Since “Small” Hugh has been watching here I wonder if he has in his collection “The Roosters of Richmond Crowed” written after a Little Feat concert or ” Henry Howell Blows the Whistle on The Republicam Party”
written after our trip to the 1976 Va. Democratic Convention.
He was at his best…
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Classic Koontz from the 70s? That’s much better than a lava lamp, I’d love to run one or two from the maestro of metaphor .
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Eddie! A flash from the past! Let’s see in 1976 I would have been about 7 so I don’t remember the “Roosters of the Richmond Crowded.” I do however remember everyone going to see Little Feet and leaving little Koontz at home :(
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Shame on us ! How the hell are you ! I remember the days on Webster St. in SoBo fondly. How is your mom ? Give her my regards and my email (eelliott@ucvirginiarealty.com) Have not seen your old man for years but have emailed him a couple of times in the past year or so. Hope all is well.
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I’m tearing up over here.
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And a tear fell softly upon the stream as it ambled through the pristine countryside and disappeared from this angler’s sight…
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