A leading
Montana Fly Fishing Blogger recently posted a "suspicious" [ahem] October Caddis pattern suggestion on the Underground - the third such questionable pattern suggestion from a Montana-based Undergrounder in 18 months.
Clearly, it's time someone in the outdoor media stood up and asked the question that others don't have the guts to ask:
Are all Montana trout smoking crack?One bad fly pattern could be an anomaly, but given the wholly unproductive "sure thing" patterns offered by other Montana-based Undergrounders, a larger picture begins to emerge.
And it's an unpretty picture indeed - one of trout so stupid that they'll eat October Caddis imitations other trout won't touch. Or even hopper patterns more Dali-esque than duplicative.
Is this proof of excessive drug use among Montana's trout?It's starting to look that way to this reporter.
I'm reminded of a local fly fisher's quote upon his return from Montana; he was asked about the fishing, and replied "It was about what you'd expect from a place where they mostly fish flies made from foam."
Revealing. And damming.
Foaming at the MouthEverything I've said so far could simply be the ramblings of a deranged fly fisher (not that there's anything wrong with that - it works for most political pundits), but careful examination of the lyrics from Montana's Official State Song offers incontrovertible proof:
Montana, Montana,
Glory of the West
Of all the states from coast to coast,
You're easily the best, and your trout are as dumb as rocks.
It's time to save the Montana trout. By getting them into rehab...
.
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BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: It's the expectation of any brilliant (nay, genius) journalist that breaking the big story could mean you'll experience attacks by those desperate to preserve their dark, dark secrets. Fly Fishing in Yellowstone has launched the first, though his latest "can't miss" pattern frankly tends to support my theory. (Either that, or Montana's filled with a lot of fly fishing musicians.) Don't miss the notes for what might be the funniest fly pattern of the year...
montana, October Caddis