ALERT! The Slaw Dog deconstructed…
By Tom Chandler on May 8, 2006 in Food, Travel, Underground's Best
The river’s apparently blown by last night’s rain (running 3.5 feet in Townsend where it normally runs 2 feet - and stop me when all this sounds too familiar…). I took the opportunity to drive to the local Phillips 66 gas station - home of the fabled, much-anticipated, Tennessee Slaw Dog.
Even in full repose, the slaw dog does not give up its secrets easily…
.
I think it says a lot for a region when you can buy an artery killing lunch delicacy at 10:20 in the morning, and the helpful woman behind the counter pointed out that she’d build a hot dog with any of the fixin’s, but that the slaw dog was most accurately represented by the traditional mustard/onions/chili/slaw combo. I ordered one (strictly for journalistic purposes), and dived in.
For perhaps the first time ever, the delicate nature of this culinary masterpiece is revealed to the fly fishing world…
I have to say the slaw dog is a close contendor for the title of “The Ultimate Underground Fly Fishing Fuel”, with the Amarrati’s burrito putting up stiff competition. Both foods (and I’m applying the term loosely here) will leave you with a song in your heart (and probably skid marks on your waders), and I think the ultimate decision is one of preference. The slaw dog offers a delicate melange of tastes, though I think I’d ask for extra onions if I were to order again.
The burrito travels better, and is far more receptive to the warming rays of the microwave. The Slaw dog goes down quickly and easily, and requires only a single hand for consumption - an important consideration given the twisty nature of the park’s roads.
I’m going to mull over this critical topic in my head while I go fishing (thereby testing the long-term ramifications of slaw dog consumption). For now, enjoy the worldwide exclusive - yet another example of the kind of hard-hitting journalism you’ve come to expect from the Trout Underground. See you at the Pulitzers, TC.
smellslikefish | May 8, 2006 | Reply
15 hours be damned, I must have one… or two. Come on, they can be carry on items and if you smile at the stewardess just right (ease up on the lascivious grin a bit), I’ll be she’d put ‘em in the fridge for you. Of course a little white lie wouldn’t hurt - try this: “my friend, who has a debilitating disease (you pick the disease) is unable to travel back to his home in Tennessee and requested I bring him slaw dogs. This may be his last taste of home.” Yeah, that oughta work.
- Dave
lostintejas | May 8, 2006 | Reply
Sorry TC, need more details to effectively recreate one of those culinary delights. Was is a regular dawg? How would a brat a la Bob Meiser be too far off track to truly get the experience? The cross section is nice (thanks for not taking that route recently in the descriptions of your ailement, btw…) but I need a layer by layer detail. Nolonger alurker,
-Gus
TC | May 8, 2006 | Reply
Fear not, my fishy friends. No need to risk an NSA listing transporting biologically dangerous materials.
Mass spectrometer analysis of the slaw dog reveals everyday ingredients. Apparently, the genius of this tail-wagging creation lies not with a list of high-faluting ingredients (it’s white trash gas station food after all), but with the artful combination of ordinary ingredients. I’d go so far to suggest that - aside from perhaps the slaw - none of the ingredients in today’s subject are homemade.
I have to run right now (dinner with the Townsend Rutters - fly fishing aristocracy in the making if there ever was any), but I’ll be back later with today’s fishing report and a further examination of this rampantly interesting death chow.
Gek | May 8, 2006 | Reply
While registering (finally) to be able to post on this site I was confronted with the actual spelling of what I am (someone from Tennessee). Yes, That’s 2 n’s, 2 s’s, and 4 e’s. Other than those 3 letter’s, there’s not much more than a T, but it’s a damn long word to have so few letters. After much debate, I realized that I am a Tennessean. Somehow I lost an “e” at the end, but oh well. There’s no doubt that Bush and I both agree that what you have discovered at one of our fine diners in the beautiful town of Townsend (I’ve actually seen the worlds longest cigarette ash and also a lady with a shirt that said “American Badass” on the back as soon as this past Friday at that same “66.”) would be considered a WMD. Just consider yourself an inspector. We hope you have enjoyed your trip to God’s country and hope you return in the near future (make sure you spend more money next time though). If you’ve learned anything during your time here, I hope it’s….when in doubt, throw some slaw on it.
Adam
TC | May 9, 2006 | Reply
Yes,it has been enjoyable visiting the Land of Double Letters, especially the last few days — due to the absence of fever, lung butter and somebody making annoying coughing noises — and the fishing’s been OK too.
Last night for dinner - just so I could see how bad it can get - we went to Pigeon Forge. Love what they’ve done to the place.
Hope Townsend avoids that overbuilt, strip-development fate.